Eminem continues chart reign Down Under

Eminem has pretty much established himself as King again, managing to stay atop both the Australian Singles and Album Charts with his single Love The Way You Lie featuring Rihanna and his album Recovery.

Other than that it’s same old same old with the Australian chart. They sure do love their mindless Pitbull featured electropop though with Enrique I Like It at #2 and Usher at #10 with brand new single DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love. They’ve clearly got taste though too with Adam Lambert’s third single, the fantastic follow-up to Whataya Want From Me, If I Had You. The only new entries to the chart are Australian singer Mike Paynter and Jason Derulo’s new single What If. What does surprise me is how easily a lot of British artists seem to have cracked the Australian market? Is it that easy? Hell, Professor Green was unknown six months ago and himself and Lily have debuted at #49 on the chart. Alexandra Burke and (sigh) Pitbull have re-entered at #50 while scouting (geddit?) higher up the chart at #29 is Scouting For Girls and This Ain’t A Love Song which peaked at #19. Strange, I thought Oz would be the second most difficult market to crack after the US but obviously not.

There’s not a lot to say about the album charts really, the Top 10 is made up of Em, Glee, Enrique, Kylie, Justin, Florence, Train and homemade sibling band, the talented  Angus And Julia Stone. Clearly I’m too lazy to write out full names of bands and artists.

Thanks to MTV for the image.

For more info, check out the ARIA website.

Why patriotism is sometimes not a good thing! Jedward top the Irish album charts.

Well the inevitable has happened!

Irish trolls Jedward have knocked Eminem and Recovery off the top of the Irish Album Chart with their shit cover album Planet J to the E to the D to the Ward, better known as Planet Jedward. I knew this would happen! Irish people are far too patriotic for their own good.

It’s not all bad though, Jedward’s unbearable Blink-182 cover All The Small Things was released last week and has debuted at a fairly floppish #21. Here’s hoping it will fall further down rather than rise up – same goes for their parent album too. Eminem needn’t be too pissed at the talentless twosome though, his Rihanna collaboration Love The Way You Lie has knocked Katy Perry’s California Gurls off the top spot, a feat he mirrored on the US Chart yesterday. Reminem, as the rapper and Bajan pop princess will be from here on out known, have bagged the top spot in the US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Ireland. All before a music video is even filmed. We’re definitely going to be hearing this song all Summer.

The Irish Top 50 Singles are pretty much the same as they are every week. JLS have delightedly slipped from #4 to #7, which hopefully shows that The Club Is Alive is losing steam fast. New entries to the chart are scare with Basshunter’s generic club banger Saturday at #37 and Jason Derulo and his alright ballad What If at #41. The brilliant Adam Lambert ballad Whataya Want From Me has failed to chart in its first week of release and instead we get Daniel O’ Fucking Donnell at #50 with his lovely wee single Tipperary Girl.

I’ve already spread the bad news about the album chart. Eminem has now to settle for #2 while the rest of the Top 10 is made up of chart staples Mumford & Sons, Florence + The Machine, Paolo Nutini, Lady GaGa and Justin Bieber. Gosh, these guys must have sold a gazillion records in Ireland. Give someone else a chance! Thankfully Kylie Minogue spends her third week in the Top 10 at #9, Plan B has moved from #11 to #7 no doubt thanks to his excellent new single Prayin’ and Eliza Doolittle’s self titled debut spends its second week at #10.

The highest new entry to the album chart is Professor Green with his Alive Till I’m Dead at #18, Sting disappointedly just makes the Top 40 with his new LP Synchronocities and Sheryl Crow flops in at #54 with her new album 100 Miles From Memphis. However, those low charting positions can be put down to zero promotion. 3OH!3 have had plenty of that with Top 10 single My First Kiss but its parent album Streets Of Gold has tanked at #79. Good, people finally realise that while 3OH!3 have the odd catchy single, their albums are the most brain numbing records of all time. Poor old M.I.A. is getting a better reception in the US which is surprising considering her controversial nature. How things have changed? On this side of the Atlantic, M.I.A. takes the biggest nose dive on the chart with her self titled third album dropping from #47 to #81 in its second week. Ouch!

For full chart info (without my increasingly humourous commentary), visit the IRMA website.

Eminem scores double whammy on the US Chart

Eminem might be looking a little glum in the image above but he’s sure to turn that frown upside down when he finds out that he’s bagged the top spot on both the US single and album charts. Eminem has succeeded in taking down the monster that is Katy Perry’s record breaking smash California Gurls with his own monster smash Love The Way You Lie, which features Rihanna. This is now Eminem’s fourth US #1 single and Rihanna’s seventh!!! In Rihanna’s five short years on the scene, she has achieved the most #1s out of any artist in that timespan. That’s pretty impressive.

Rihanna’s fellow Bajan Shontelle has also managed to defy her sceptics with the former one hit wonder reaching a new peak of #13 with her catchy ballad Impossible. Paramore may have already moved onto next single Careful but its predecessor The Only Exception is proving to be something of a sleeper hit by reaching #36 on the singles chart. Paramore’s previous singles Ignorance and Brick By Boring Brick from their #2 album Brand New Eyes failed to make any significant placing on the chart so I guess this is Paramore’s first US hit from the album.

Usher has proven that there’s just no stopping him! DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love, the Pitbull assisted lead single from new album Versus has debuted at a stellar #19. I smell future OMG like success but I’ll actually be happy for it because DJ is a catchy, fun song. The biggest drop in the chart is Kanye West’s Power which goes from #29 to #60. Kanye better get a video made and some promotion done quick to ensure that he doesn’t face a similar fate to Christina Aguilera.

California Gurls hasn’t died just yet. Its still sits at #1 on the Pop Charts while Paramore’s The Only Exception gains a rise in airplay and debuts at #19. The R&B/Hip-Hop Chart is still held on to by Alicia Keys with Un-thinkable (I’m Ready). I think Un-thinkable is the least commercial single Keys has released to date from The Element Of Freedom but it has ironically sold the best. Looks like my dream of working for a record label has been cut short. I brought you Wynter Gordon’s Dirty Talk video a few days ago. That was  the master of the Dance Chart last week but has now being kicked off by British duo Goldfrapp’s Alive. Great to see that the single has charted somewhere after it flopped in the UK.

Enrique Iglesias continues his reign at the top of the Latin Charts with Cuando Me Enamoro, Shinedown are #1 on the Rock Chart with The Crow And The Butterly while Luke Brian is atop the Country Charts with Doin’ My Thing.

Eminem might be spending his fourth week at #1 with Recovery on the album charts but there are quite a few Top 10 debuts this week. Metal band Korn have debuted at #2 with their ninth LP Korn III: Remember Who You Are, Christian rock band; the terribly named Newsboys debut at #4 with album Born Again, Sting’s new record Symphonicities slides in at #6 followed by unknown-to-me artists Jerrod Nieman and HellYeah at #7 and #8. The US are kinder to M.I.A. than the UK were. Her new record /\/\ /\ Y /\ has debuted at #9 while it flipped feebly into the UK album charts at #21.

Thanks to Rap Radar for the image.

And watch this cool Top 50 video from the wonderful Billboard Goddess on YouTube. I really appreciate her hard work.

Singles Reviews Diary 20 – 18th June 2010

It’s twenty weeks old! It’s twenty weeks old! It’s twenty weeks old! I am so delighted with the achievement of having written twenty of these diaries now and I think I’ve managed to cover pretty much every major single in them. To add to this being the twentieth (week) anniversary of the Singles Reviews Diaries, there are also 20 singles to review below. Check out my reviews and let me know what you think of the songs or the reviews in general. What’s your Track Of The Week? What’s your Stinker? Which band/artist are you really loving at the moment? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Singles Reviews Diary 20 – 18th June 2010:

01. Adam Deacon and Bashy featuring Paloma Faith: Keep Moving

While Chipmunk and Tinchy Stryder can be described as the British equivalents to American counterparts Flo Rida and Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em, I think it’s fair to describe Adam Deacon as a British equivalent to T.I. or Jay-Z. Teaming up with fellow occasional actor Paloma Faith, the two create a mature but not entirely original hip-hop track witha soulful chorus. Faith’sbeautiful vocals bring a hint of retro-ness to the track while Deacon is a surprisingly good rapper. Bashy joins halfway through to add a little diversity to the track. What we get in the end is a fairly typical hip-hop track – but avery good fairly typical hip-hop track at that! 3.5 STARS

02. Ash: Spheres

This is Single Letter S from Ash’s A-Z Series. They should really get to promoting this single because it’s probably the best track we’ve heard from the singles collection so far. Ash’s music is normally simple catchy pop rock but with Spheres, we see the Northern Irish trio go over to the dark side. Featuring an eerie piano line which runs from the intro throughout the whole song, pounding drums and a hammering bass. It all comes to a stunning climax when the guitars crunch up and the chorus becomes more aggressive. The song is definitely worth a buy. 4 STARS

03. The Automatic: Cannot Be Saved

The Automatic return with the third single from their Tear The Signs Down LP. If you’ve heard Automatic before – and many of you have – remember that song ”What’s that coming over the hill, is it a monster? Is it a monster? – then you’ll know what to expect. A song that doesn’t take too seriously, a fun shout-along punk pop track that travels at 100 mph, this isn’t going to be the highlight of the year. But it’s a fun track to add to that Summer playlist. 3.5 STARS

TRACK OF THE WEEK!
04. Big Boi featuring Cutty: Shutterbug

One half of the genre defining hip-hop duo Outkast and the lesser known member to Andre 3000, Big Boi has struck out on his own with new single Shutterbug and like his band continues to show some innovation in hip-hop. While hiring an R&B singer like Cutty to croon over the song isn’t entirely original, this track is all about Big Boi. Lacking any real chorus, Big Boi raps along with an incredible flow while the instrumentation of funky ‘80s synths, drumclaps and samples of Soul II Soul’s Back To Reality provide the main hooks of this song. I really love this track because it has a chilled out yet cocksure vibe that you rarely hear in rap nowadays. I’m seriously looking forward to Big Boi’s album now. 5 STARS

05. Cypress Hill featuring Pitbull and Marc Anthony: Armada Latina

Sigh. Another week. Another Pitbull feature. Why must he torment me so?! That said Cypress Hill’s track will provide a little Latin flavour this Summer. With a repetitive “oooh-oooh-oooh” hook running through the song, Jennifer Lopez’s husband Marc Anthony provides the Spanish sung chorus while the rapping is provided in English by Cypress Hill and Pitbull. Cypress Hill’s rapping is fairly passable and Pitbull continues to rap random words in Spanish over an unrelated rap about him not being an “asshole”. Right. *side eye*. Still those oooh-oooh hooks and Marc Anthony’s chorus is what make this must have on the Summer playlist. But then again…I am a sucker for pretty much every Spanish song in existence. 4.5 STARS

06. Daisy Dares You: Rosie

This is a pretty catchy pop rock jam with a massive chorus. That said so was her last single Number One Enemy. And that song drove me mad for a few weeks. Daisy manages to provide radio friendly fodder that will get airplay all over the place before being completely forgotten about in a few weeks. I appreciate the fact that Daisy has said she wants to stay away from the clichéd teen romance lyrics on her debut album, something she’s managed so far, singing about rowing with her sister Scarlet (ginger?) and backing up her friend Rosie (another ginger?)but she hasn’t managed to stay away from the clichéd Auto-Tune. Plus the electro breakdown with the fast paced rap doesn’t really gel well towards the end. All I’m hearing is a Z-grade Avril Lavigne mixed with a Z-grade Lily Allen. But points for only being 16 and making music a little more bearable than other 16 year olds *cough Justin Bieber*cough*.2.5 STARS

07. Dan Balan featuring Katie DiCicco: Chica Bomb

WTH? Why is Dan Balan credited as a lead artist on this track when Katie DiCicco, the sexy, breathy singer isn’t even credited? Last time I looked, practically whispering “chica-chica-bomb” over an unoriginal Eurodance backing constituted this being his song. I would give this Stinker Of The Week but DiCicco’s breathy vocals are seductive (I may be blinded by my urge to have sex with her), the cheesy Ibiza beats are just right for Summer and the middle eight is actually rather gorgeous. Dan Balan is a complete tool though. Many of you will agree with me as he was one-third of defunct band O-Zone (The Numa Numa Song), possibly the most annoying Moldovan poppers anywhere. 2.5 STARS

08. Declining Winter: Official World Cup Theme 2010

Something for the UK to be proud of, Declining Winter have been given the honourary role of providing the theme song for World Cup 2010. Really it’s a strange choice of theme song, it doesn’t particularly draw you in or have a very celebratory sound. In fact, it’s very ‘indie’ and brooding in its sound. The instrumentation is rather good though with some beautiful string sections. Only the end of the song with some World Cup commentary makes you actually believe this song is for the World Cup though. 3 STARS

09. Dirty Money featuring Rick Ross and T.I.: Hello Good Morning

Diddy, Timbaland called and asked what you’re doing right and what he’s doing wrong. Because Hello Good Morning sounds like it could have been released as a single of Timbaland Presents: Shock Value. Seriously? Yup. Diddy and his new ‘band’ of female rappers spit out some clichéd lyrics about being in a club and being so ‘fly’ with a little help from Rick Ross and recently freed T.I. over some wonky synths. It offers nothing new to the table at all but if you liked the singles from Timbaland’s FIRST Shock Valuealbum, then you should like this. Plus the epic breakdown at the end reminds us of why Sean Combs aka Puff Daddy aka P. Diddy aka Diddy is one of the most revered rappers out there. 3 STARS

10. Feeder: Call Out

‘90s rockers make a return with a big heavy rock number that grabs your attention as soon as the opening chords kick in at a lightning speed. Combined with a catchy chorus, Feeder have returned with a solid lead single from the forthcoming albumRenegades. Hopefully with the right promotion and airplay, this track can introduce the band to a whole new generation. 4.5 STARS

STINKER OF THE WEEK!
11. Justin Bieber: Never Let You Go

This is simply being released as a promo single so its unlikely to blow up like previous singles One Time and Baby, thank goodness. Now I could be nice and say I’m that I’m not 3 years old so I’m not the target market for this audience. However, J. Bieber has just released another stinker that only his die-hard fans can enjoy. I’ll admit Baby grew on me eventually and his forthcoming single with Usher Somebody To Love is actually rather good but this…this is just terrible! Not only is it bland, insipid and clichéd but who wantsto hear an eight-year-old boy sing about heartbreak in the form of an Auto-Tuned ballad. Yeah, we’re really reading into your soul there, Justin. Stick to the catchy dance-pop, methinks! 1 STAR

12. Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dogg: California Gurls

Despite it’s huge commercial success, this song has divided critics. Probably Katy’s own fault for declaring this as the LA equivalent to Jay-Z and Alicia Keys’ timeless modern classic Empire State Of Mind. Now California Gurls will probably be timeless too – but more in the way of “Oh crap! I can’t believe I actually liked that song” and then giving it a sneaky listen on your iPod or whatever replaces iPods in the future. BecauseCalifornia Gurls is just a fun pop song – nothing more. Combining Calvin Harris like synths, ‘90s wah-wah guitars, sunny melodies, a West Coast rap and a gigantic chorus, I think California Gurls deserves its huge success it will have this Summer. Oh sure, some of it sounds like Ke$ha’s TiK ToK and its clearly gimmicky but that doesn’t matter, as it is the must have song to play at the pool party this Summer. The song is so hot…my popsicle just melted. 4 STARS

13. K’nann: Wavin’ Flag (Celebration Mix)

The original version. The Young Artists For Haiti version. The will.i.am and David Guetta featured version. This Celebration Mix. I am absolutely sick to my teeth of this song and its many incarnations. Even though a few months – hell, a few weeks ago – I would have being encouraging you all to start checking out K’nann. No need now he’s so well known. Now, I know K’nann wrote this song but nothing for me will trump the Young Artists For Haiti version of this song. NOTHING! I find the verses are a bit lyrically clunky on this but that chorus still gives me goosebumps everytime it’s sung. So credjt to K’nann for writing such an inspirational chorus and introducing this song to the World. A few points off though for the song’s overexposure. 3.5 STARS

14. Pearl Jam: Amongst The Waves

The third single from Pearl Jam’s Backspacer album finds the band in an uplifting mood with some inspirational, gruff yet impassioned vocals from Eddie Vedder. This is a great rock mid-tempo that really picks up towards the end with some great guitar solos from Stone Gossard. One of the standout tracks from the album, this is another Summer playlist option if you want to shake it up a bit. 4 STARS

15. Rihanna featuring Slash: Rockstar 101

This is only being released as a promo single over here so no need to worry if you’re tired of Rihanna overexposure or think Te Amo has been cancelled. This track is probably one of the weakest songs of Rihanna’s Rated R. Although the prospect of Slash appearing as a feature on this track initially sounds exciting, it wears off pretty quick as this is far more heavy urban than it is rock. Rihanna’s claims of being a rockstar are ridiculous despite her level of swearing, the chorus is repetitive and wears thin fast and the only thing I like about it is the beat heavy production and the guitar solos towards the end. If Rihanna wanted to release some rock numbers from the album, she could have chosen the absolutely brilliant Fire Bomb, Cold Case Love or The Last Song. However, record companies probably thought these ballads would be too depressing after the sunny Rude Boy so have gone with this relatively upbeat track. I’m just glad it doesn’t have an official release over here. Poor America! 2.5 STARS

16. Rusko featuring Amber Coffman: Hold On

Dubstep producer Rusko, who has worked on M.I.A.’s new album and also rumoured to be working on Britney Spears’ new record, provides a bass heavy club track here with some decent yet unoriginal vocals from Amber Coffman. There are a few different layers to the song but overall this doesn’t step out too far from the dubstep genre or do anything new. Good club record though. 3 STARS

17. Scissor Sisters: Fire With Fire

Starting off as a subdued ballad, this track quickly takes off and becomes a big, anthemic fists-in-the-air dance rock number thanks to Jake Shears’ uplifting vocals and the synth rock instrumentation from the rest of the band. This a terrific comeback single from the New York quintet and as many people have pointed out, it has a whiff of Elton John to it. My only problem is that it’s a bit subtle. Compared to earlier lead singles like Laura and I Don’t Feel Like Dancing which were instantly infectious, Fire With Fire takes a few spins to get into. In a year where two of our biggest hits have song titles that are misspelled (California Gurls) or an Internet/text speak acronym(OMG), can this song have any lasting appeal when attention spans appear to be getting lower and lower? 4.5 STARS

18. Shout For England featuring Dizzee Rascal and James Corden: Shout

The only good thing about this song is the Tears For Fear and Blackstreet samples. The rest of the song is utter cack. This is probably the most creative thing Simon Cowell has put his name to but then again that’s not saying much considering The X-Factorwinner singles. I’ve lost all respect for Dizzee Rascal as a rapper and James Corden always annoyed me and I don’t find him particularly funny. This is basically a crowd shouting aloud to the rhythm of Shout which I don’t find particularly appealing because I can hear that down in my local at the weekends anyway. 2 STARS

19. Tegan And Sara: Alligator

Fresh from their recent collabo with Tiësto, Canadian duo Tegan and Sara have just released new single Alligator over here. I’ve just figured that the two girls have those distinctive, borderline annoying vocals that Irish band Heathers have. The song is a catchy little toe-tapper but in all honesty, the girls have brought out much better. This sounds like it should be soundtracking the latest Apple ad…which is maybe T&S’s goal. Either way, enjouable but passable. 3 STARS

20. Wolfmother: Far Away

I’m definitely noticing a 1970s Led Zeppelin vibe with this song. Amongst an electric piano, acoustic guitar and laidback drums, lead vocalist Andrew Stockdale sings in a relatively toned down voice compared to what we’re used to hearing from him. His voice definitely has echoes of Robert Plant, Axl Rose and to a lesser extent Jack White. If you’re looking for something that recalls a little ‘70s rock, then this is your song. Although to me, this is kind of your typical indie love song and doesn’t come close to Zeppelin. Still, this Aussie band don’t do a bad job of paying homage to them so I’ll keep an eye out to see if they progress in sound and maturity. 3.5 STARS

A little taster of Eminem’s ‘Recovery’

Arrrggghhh! I’m falling so far behind on posts thanks to my easygoing yet rather tedious new job. Eminem has released his new single Not Afraid. The single is a solid yet unspectacular return to form for the rapper and the video contains lots of images of Eminem being super sombre and angry looking. I do like the bit at the end where the city basically falls apart and Eminem flies around it, essentially becoming a superhero and reinventing himself. It gives me hope that Marshall is serious about returning to his roots and ditching the tired “ehhh” Relapse sound behind.

Watch the video below:

Probably the two most noteworthy songs on the album have leaked also – those being the collaborations with female popstars P!nk and Rihanna.

Listen to Eminem featuring P!nk: Won’t Back Down

I really hope this is released as the next single. I thought it would have a more mainstream feel to it but it doesn’t. P!nk’s smoky biker vocals sound great against Eminem’s harsh, fast paced rapping.

Listen to Eminem featuring Rihanna: Love The Way You Lie

Love The Way You Lie appears to reference domestic abuse, a theme Eminem and Rihanna are both familiar with. Loving the chorus to this, I don’t know if it’s studio magic but Rihanna appears to be getting more versatile with her vocals.  This has a really epic radio friendly chorus, I hope its released this Winter.

I have so much more information to share but its just going to have to wait ’til a later date. I’m up early in the morning you see and need sleep.

Lil’ Wayne, Rihanna and…erm…P!nk to appear on Eminem’s new album

Shortly after unveiling cover art for his new album Recovery, Eminem has now revealed the tracklisting for the album, set for release on 18th June.

Tracklisting:

1. Cold Wind Blows

2. Talkin’ 2 Myself  (featuring Kobe)

3. On Fire

4. Won’t Back Down (featuring P!nk)

5. W.T.P.

6. Going Through Changes

7. Not Afraid

8. Seduction

9. No Love (featuring Lil’ Wayne)

10. Space Bound

11. Cinderella Man

12. 25 To Life

13. So Bad

14. Almost Famous

15. Love The Way You Lie (featuring Rihanna)

16. You’re Never Over

Source: eminem.com

Taking a look at the 16 song tracklist, the track I’m most excited about is the collaboration with P!nk. I would never have paired her and Eminem together so I’m excited to hear what it will sound like. Rihanna is no stranger to hip-hop collaborations and jail clearly hasn’t stopped Lil’ Wayne from being everywhere in urban music. No chances of him being irrelevant while inside. Kobe is one of those anonymous R&B singers, who is probably best known for singing the hook on Fabolous’ Imma Do It. So are you people excited about the new Eminem album now that you’ve seen the tracklisting?

Rihanna sells sex in a classy way for sensual ‘Te Amo’ vid!

Bajan popstar Rihanna has just premiered the video for her new single Te Amo. The track is the third international single from her Rated R LP and the video was directed by long-term collaborator Anthony Mandler. You can watch the video below:

I love Rihanna when she goes back to her island roots so it’s safe to say that Te Amo is probably my favourite track from Rated R. Seeing as the videos from this era have been pretty hit-and-miss so far, I have desperately fantasised about directing a damn good video for the song and the first things on my memo were Rihanna showing some classy sexuality and to have stunning cinematography to fit the vibe of the song.

Thankfully, Mandler has delivered. While the video doesn’t take place on a tropical Caribbean island (my vision), it does take place in a visually outstanding Parisian chateau. I particularly like how the roaring fire in the drawing room scene really lights the tribalesque, organic feel of the song. Rihanna looks stunning as always as does her female love interest French supermodel Laetitia Casta. Of course, this is Rated R Rihanna and she does have some sex to sell. While lyrically the song speaks about Rihanna shunning her lesbian friend’s advances, Rihanna looks like she’s definitely enjoying the many homoerotic poses she performs amongst Casta – which is sure to cause controversy in the media and make sure men (and lesbians) watch the clip over and over again on the Internet.

That said, for the most part, Rihanna tones down the raunchiness for the most part, opting for sensuality instead. There’s not a PVC outfit in sight, Summer dresses are in vogue this time round which is great because I always find the cute island girl Rihanna way more sexy that the S&M clad one.

Overall, this is probably the best video (and song) from Rihanna’s Rated R album so sit back, watch and enjoy. The single is available to buy now internationally.

Rihanna returns to dark theme with ‘Rockstar 101’ video…well almost!

After assaulting our eyes with the colourfest that was the Rude Boy video, Rihanna has returned to the dark look of her earlier singles from Rated R by releasing another brooding black and white video. The single will be released exclusively to the US on June 1 while the rest of the World gets the much sunnier Te Amo.

What to say about the video…hmmm. Well, at first look I was pretty bored. Another dark and brooding video from Rihanna – that’s sure to have The Vigilant Citizen‘s knickers in a knot over Rihanna’s use of Satanist Illuminati symbolism in her videos. Also, I’m tired of Rihanna trying to get one-up on Lady GaGa in the fashion stakes with increasingly weird costumes – that no normal person would ever wear in public.

Also the lyric: “Big city, bright lights”. I would love to actually have seen the video shot in a city rather than a claustraphobic studio with snow machines. Anyways, Rihanna totally redeems herself and makes my rant redundant when she dresses up as Slash in the video – which is so unexpected, yet so wonderful.

Slash actually features on this track but obviously hasn’t bothered to show up for the video shoot so Rihanna does the honours of putting on a pair of shades, a top hat and  a dark curly wig, picking up the guitar and unleashing her inner rockstar…similar to what she did on American Idol a few months back. It makes the video completely watchable and for the first time we really see some personality shine through in the near lifeless performer. Anyways, enough ranting from me, check out the video below:

Singles Reviews Diary 16 – 21st May 2010

The sixteenth edition of the Singles Reviews Diary is here. Again it’s a bit late but what the Hell, it took a long time to write and I’ve been busy.

Singles Reviews Diary 16 – 21st May 2010:

01. Alicia Keys: Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart (Video)
This is possibly my favourite track from Alicia Keys The Element Of Freedom album. Most of Britain seems to agree with me as the track has already hit the #13 spot before an official release. Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart mightn’t have the killer choruses of Alicia’s biggest hits such as Fallin’, No-One and Empire State Of Mind (I and II) but what we get is a much more subtle approach that’s no less engaging. Containing pounding ‘80s drum machines, underlying synths and soft breathy vocals from Keys’, the track is a seductive and passionate performance from Alicia that deserves to go down as one of the top hits from her catalogue. 4 STARS

02. Ash: Binary (Video)
Well, well, well. After some understated and fairly inoffensive singles from their A-Z Series, Ash decide to go all out with this single. Featuring a futuristic video, Ash provides us with a huge up-tempo electro-rock number with giant pop chorus to boot and “oh-oh-oh” hooks. I think the band have regained my interest again. 4 STARS

03. Detroit Social Club: Prophecy (Video)
I can see why this band is favoured by NME so much… this is rather epic! Featuring fuzzy guitars and drum claps, the song is a definite must have on this Summer’s rock playlist, allow this to grow on you and before you know it you will be bobbing your head and jumping around your room to the massive and powerful chorus. 5 STARS

04. Dizzee Rascal featuring Daniel Pearce: Dirtee Disco (Video)
I really have a fractured relationship with Dizzee Rascal. I hated Dance Wiv Me in Summer 2008, I hated Bonkers in Summer 2009 and it’s now Summer 2010 and I hate Dirtee Disco. But the most likely thing is, I will be joining the masses, like I did in Summers 2008 and 2009, and loving this song before the season is out. You see Dizzee’s music of late seems to have this creeping infectiousness, it sounds terrible at first but radio seems to latch on and before you know it, Dizzee has another hit on his hands. Dirtee Disco contains the rapper’s brash rhymes over a ‘70s funky house beat and vocals from reality TV reject Daniel Pearce. It shouldn’t work, it doesn’t work but it will work in a few weeks time when the dancefloor will be full and moving to Dizzee’s dulcet tones. 3 STARS

05. DJ Team: Stereo Love (Video)
Edward Maya’s naff, accordion sampling Eurotrash number gets the remix treatment by the DJ Team. I can’t believe this crap got into the Irish Top 10 even if the DJ Team version is slightly better than the original, piling on a few extra beats. 2 STARS

06. Edward Maya featuring Vika Jigulina: Stereo Love (Video)
I think I said everything about this song already above. This is naff, Eurotrash trance which fits in perfectly with all the Eurovision guff sure to infiltrate the charts in the next two weeks or so. Maybe this would be passable fodder at a Spanish holiday camp but I certainly know I don’t want this accordion heavy trance track to be played anywhere in the vicinity near me! 1.5 STARS

07. Glee Cast: Dream On (Video)
Glee was back on form this week, mainly because they waited until about 20 minutes into the episode to start singing. In other words, they didn’t sacrifice the plot for the sake of cramming as many songs as possible into an episode. What they also got right is the choice of songs – no bad songs in Glee this week. Yay! This song, a cover of the Aerosmith 1973 classic, sounds rather good. It’s not a patch on the original but Matthew Morrisson and Neil Patrick Harris are vocally good here, well Morrisson is vocally good, Harris is vocally outstanding. I have a real hate for the too-perfect character of Will Schuester so I’m delighted to hear that Neil Patrick Harris absolutely kills him in the rawk vocal department. I say we get rid of Schue and replace him with Bryan Ryan. Who’s with me? 4 STARS

08. Glee Cast: The Safety Dance (Video)
Artie’s learned how to walk!!! And also dance. The Safety Dance, originally by New Wave band Men Without Hats isn’t exactly the vocally outstanding number of the episode but it’s probably the most fascinating visual number. Artie never fails song-wise and re-creates the original funky, electronic sound while throwing out some choreography that would make a Jackson proud. Like I said, this isn’t the song of the episode but it’s actually a pretty good listen once you get used to watching the video over and over again. 4 STARS

09. Glee Cast: I Dreamed A Dream (Video)
SPOILER! Rachel and her mother Shelby (Idina Menzel, who eerily looks like Lea Michelle) cover this song from Les Miserables. Both give an impassioned and vocally strong performance but I have to admit I’m really sick of that song now after it became synonymous with Susan Boyle, Britain’s Got Talent and any reality TV show that’s connected to Simon Cowell. Still a good performance earns… 3.5 STARS

10. Glee Cast: Dream A Little Dream Of Me (Video)
This is another heartwarming closer to a Glee episode. Again it sticks pretty close to the original 1931 dreamy, head swaying number made all the more vulnerable by the wheelchair bound Artie who is on lead vocals. It’s all made more irresistible by the show choir vocals in the background. 4.5 STARS

11. HURTS: Better Than Love (Video)
More ‘80s nostalgia from the Manchester duo. I’ve heard better tracks from the Manchester duo but this is an acceptable enough listen. It’s one of those tracks that starts off rather monotonous but builds up with sparse guitar licks, an explosion of synths and rising backing vocals. I’d give this a much higher rating if I wasn’t sick of listening to ‘80s throwbacks by now. However, I will keep this duo on my One To Watch list. 3 STARS

12. Jamie Cullum: Wheels (Video)
This piano and string heavy number is yet another fantastic entry in Jamie Cullum’s song catalogue. Lyrically, it’s brilliant as always and the chorus with it “woah-oooah-ooah” hook may ensure this gets played on the radio…though I doubt it. Oh well, you can change that if you buy this new single. 4 STARS

13. Josh Dubovie: That Sounds Good To Me (Video)
The only word for this is naff, naff, naff. Maybe back in those dark days when Steps, Scooch and S-Club were ruling the charts, this might have been a hit and an acceptable entry into the Eurovision but I can’t see this doing well. Lyrically atrocious with cheesy backing vocals, it makes the UK look like a country devoid of any talent where’s there’s plenty. And the same goes for Ireland (although our entry isn’t as embarrassing, no offence to my British cyber friends). I cannot understand that the industry big wigs cannot get it into their thick skulls that you send a death-metal band that like to play dress-up (see: Lordi), faux lesbians (see: tAtU) or some sexy lady that can grind on a pole and you have it – WIN! WIN! WIN! Didn’t Lady GaGa teach these people? – the public love gimmicks! 1 STAR

14. K’naan featuring will.i.am. and David Guetta: Wavin’ Flag (Video)
This K’nann penned track was originally given to the Young Artists For Haiti as a charity single a few months ago and even won the prestigious Track Of The Week. However, something is lost in translation when sang by its original songwriter and *shudder* will.i.am with production credits from *shudder* David Guetta. I like K’nann’s international sounding voice and hope to see more of him in the future. The reason I’m not crazy about this version of the track might be because the lyrics have been changed around so that the wordplay sounds clumsy and overall ruins the song’s catchiness, moving it into really schmaltzy territory. The good thing is that David Guetta doesn’t turn the song into a remix, only adding a few extra beats to the track and will.i.am. lays of the Auto-Tune and becomes the much more likeable retro Will. (Okay, so his “rock the beat” voice comes out towards the end of the song but it’s not overbearing like much of the post E.N.D. material. To sum up, the song still remains enjoyable enough but it’s nothing compared to the Haiti version. 3 STARS

STINKER OF THE WEEK!
15. Margi Clarke: Like A Memory (Video)
When I sit down to type up my Singles Reviews Diary, I first have to choose among the 50+ singles released each week, which ones I’m going to review. I generally choose to review songs by well known artists, songs by hyped artists, songs likely to make the Top 40, songs by artists I’ve already reviewed in previous diaries and songs by artists with a certain ring to their name. Margi Clarke was one of those names that had a ring to them and so I went of typed her name into YouTube. Expecting to find an adult contemporary track á la Susan Boyle, I clicked play on the video and my ears were greeted by trippy noises and an even trippier video. I squinted at the screen… wait a minute! IS THAT TYRONE’S PINK HAIRED MUM FROM CORONATION STREET???! I was gobsmaked. What next – Peggy Mitchell leaving Eastenders to pursue a pop career??? Margi Clarke cannot sing at all and the electro track is complete trash. Poker Face 2.0it ain’t, honey. She actually does sound like Madonna in certain places, albeit less talented and more classy. Anyways I believe I’m scarred for life now. *goes to corner and cowers, rocking over and back* 1 STAR

16. Muse: Exogenesis: Symphony (Video)
Aww! Isn’t Muse good to their fans? This track, split in three parts at the end of their latest album The Resistance has been melded together into an epic 12 minute number and packaged as a single for their fans. The single really showcases Muse’s instrumental talents, the orchestra number is huge, atmospheric, overblown, epic and so completely Muse. However, this Muse fan believes that the track is better split in three parts and kept on the album because this constitutes as fun background music and nothing more. Oh well, each to their own I guess. 4 STARS

TRACK OF THE WEEK!
17. Muse: Neutron Star Collision (Love Is Forever) (Video)
Acting as the lead single from the wildly anticipated Eclipse film, Stephanie Meyer (author of Twilight) must be hopping up and down now that her favourite band Muse are soundtracking the never ending love of her protagonists Bella and Robert PattinsonEdward. For a big mainstream release like Eclipse, Muse are in mainstream mode here, the song has a big heart wrenching chorus that radio are sure to pick up, romanticised pianos and big crunching guitars. Hey, I think this is another fantastic entry into Muse’s catalogue and if it gets more people into Muse then I’m all for it. Actually, this is my favourite love song ever…so it gets…5 STARS

18. N-Dubz featuring Bodyrox: We Dance On (Video)
Once we get the trademark N-Dubz “na-na-nai” out of the way, this song is actually rather fantastic. Tulisa’s vocals are smooth and passionate and probably the best we’ve heard yet from her, Dappy and Fazer’s rapping is also very good – there’s definitely an American influence here, their rhymes have that very reflective feel to them, the sort of rhyming you’d expect from Jay-Z or Lupe Fiasco. The chorus has a real inspirational feel and the production by Bodyrox is pretty cool too although the best part (the strings) are sampled from Johann Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major. Anyways, if N-Dubz continue to make music like this Street Dance 3-D soundtrack single for their US debut, then consider me a fan. 4 STARS

19. Nas and Damian Marley: As We Enter (Video)
One of my favourite underrated rappers Nas (probably better known as Kelis’ ex-husband) and Bob Marley’s son Damian come together to provide this head bobber. Nas is a great rapper and Marley’s lyrics are rather clever here, this is a real head-banger, great for playing while cruisin’. 😛 The fast paced back and forth rapping between Nas and Marley really push this song above mediocrity. 3.5 STARS

20. Neil Morrissey and England’s Pride: England’s On The Way (The Lion Sleeps Tonight) (Video)
This song was purely designed for English people to sing along to when getting excited about the World Cup. The recognisable twisting of the lyric The Lion Sleeps Tonight toEngland’s On The Way should make it easier for them to chant along to. To be honest, I thought this would be terrible but I’m a sucker for The Lion Sleeps Tonight and love the original chant and Africanised beats – which make it perfect for the World Cup really. It would be great if Neil Morrissey sang I in a less cheesy way but what the hell! “A wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh!” 3.5 STARS

21. Niamh Kavanagh: It’s For You (Video)
Niamh Kavanagh already won the Eurovision once – can she do it again? That’s the question on every Irish person’s lips as we get ready to send her off to ChartBlog legend Alexander Rybak’s homeland of Norway. It’s For You, like Jade Ewen’s It’s My Time, is a big power ballad sang by a soulful able voiced singer full of generic lyrics in the vein of any Celine Dion song ever. I imagine this could do pretty well, bland and dated material generally does well at Eurovision, but it certainly won’t win it. I think we should have sent the sexy and gimmicky Monica Ivkic instead. 2 STARS

22. Seán Óg: I Still Love You Without Your Car (Video)
You can probably tell by the title alone that this is a parody song. The production is cheap, the vocals are non-existent, this will probably have to get Stinker…and OH MY GOD THE VIDEO HAS DOGS PLAYING BANJOS, FIDDLES AND GUITAR HERO! THIS THE BEST SONG EVER! 5 STARS! Seriously though this video kicks GaGa’s Telephone video in the mud, Seán Óg needs to become famous and the song is actually a grower. 2.5 STARS but the video gets INFINITY STARS

23. Rihanna: Te Amo (Video)
With her crotch grabbing in Wait Your Turn, her suicidal nature in Russian Roulette, her army promoting Hard and her explicitly sexual lyrics in Rude Boy, Rihanna has come a long way from the early days when she was just a cute 17-year old in a tank top singing about love in much more veiled terms. So it’s a relief to see Rihanna return to some cleaner, more island influenced material of her earlier career. Okay, so the song talks about her breaking some lesbian’s heart but it’s great to hear RihRih avoid singing about guns, bad language and parts of the male anatomy. Te Amo is a beautifully written mid-tempo pop song with lovely tribalesque island synths and percussion and Rihanna expresses emotion in her Marmite voice – listening to this song will transport you to a Caribbean island (figuratively of course). Probably my favourite track from her Rated R album, this strong Summery track is a worthy rival of Lady GaGa’s forthcoming Spanish tinged Alejandro. 4 STARS

24. White Rabbits: They Done Wrong/We Done Wrong (Video)
A brooding rock tune from the White Rabbits. I really like this group and I love the chugging guitars and bass in this but the track is lacking in something, I don’t know really. Perhaps it will grow on me but it’s a bit lacklustre really. Good instrumentally though. 3 STARS

I see the chart game never really took of last week so I guess it won’t go ahead this week either. But feel free to leave your single ratings below if you wish… and comments and feedback of course. 😛

Singles Reviews Diary 3 – 19th February 2010

Hey guess what?! I’ve come up with my thoughts on singles being released tomorrow a day early. Mightn’t get time to post it tomorrow (have a busy day of drinking for Rag Week tomorrow) so I’ll post it now

Singles Reviews Diary 3 – 19th February 2010:

01. Alicia Keys: Empire State Of Mind (Part II) Broken Down (Video)
Last year, Alicia Keys featured on Jay-Z’s biggest anthem of last year. For new albumThe Element Of Freedom, Alicia strips the song down into a beautiful piano ballad while still keeping the killer chorus of the original. While this is more atmospheric, I still think I prefer the Jay-Z original. 4 STARS

02. Alphabeat: Hole In My Heart (Video)
Alphabeat drop the sugary bubblegum sound that they used on Fascination and recent single The Spell for a more ’90s dance sound on the second single from album The Spell. I was a never a fan of their cheesy pop songs so I find this song…uh…bearable. 3 STARS

03. Beyoncé: Fever (Video)
So much for Beyoncé taking a break. Alongside collaborations with Lady GaGa and Alicia Keys, Beyoncé finds time to release single Fever to promote her new perfume Heat. She makes a solid yet hardly groundbreaking cover of the 1956 smoky classic. I kind of want Beyoncé to disappear for a while at this stage especially as she’s planning on releasing a new album at the end of the day. 2 STARS

04. Chiddy Bang: The Opposite Of Adults (Video)
A delightful rap track that samples MGMT’s Kids. I think I agree with Curtains. This could well be better than the original. I’ll have to keep listening to find out. Definite party starting tune for sure!!! 4.5 STARS

05. Cobra Starship: Hot Mess (Video)
Pretty much like Metro Station’s Shake It, the only thing that’s good about this song is the killer chorus. The rest of the song is forgettable and annoying. 2.5 STARS

06. Daisy Dares You featuring Chipmunk: Number One Enemy (Video)
Britain’s newest teenybopper popstar releases her first single. The video is like a low budget version of Gwen Stefani’s What You Waiting For? and there’s a whiff of Avril Lavigne about it. The song is catchy enough pop rock but what’s with the random Chipmunk verse. Completely pointless. 3 STARS

07. Ellie Goulding: Starry Eyed (Video)
A hook filled, hypnotic electropop track. I think Ellie is a deserved winner of the BRITS Critics Choice Award. I think she’s gonna be 2010’s big new star. 3.5 STARS

08. Giggs featuring B.o.B.: Don’t Go There (Video)
Expletive filled rap track by British/Jamacian rapper Giggs. This probably won’t get much airplay but it’s actually a really enjoyable rap track with a catchy enough chorus provided by American rapper B.o.B..

09. Glee Cast: Bust A Move 3 STARS (Video)

10. Glee Cast: Sweet Caroline 3.5 STARS (Video)

11. Glee Cast: Thong Song 3 STARS (Video)

More fun yet cheesy, stage school style covers of songs by Young MC, Neil Diamond and Sisquo. Their Sweet Caroline rendition is good but the teacher who rules the Glee club really needs to stop rapping on the other two tracks. It’s the equivalent of watching your dad trying to act cool.

TRACK OF THE WEEK!
12. Groove Armada featuring SaintSaviour and Fenech-Soler: Paper Romance (Video)
First we had Bad Romance, now we have Paper Romance. Groove Armada release another fantastic electronica track. Check out the dark video for the song too. Definitely made me excited for their new album Black Light out 1 March. 5 STARS

13. Jason Derulo: In My Head (Video)
Okay, there are a million reasons I don’t like the video for this song. First of all, it’s a complete copy of Justin Timberlake’s Like I Love You video. I also don’t like how Jason is sitting in the carpark listening to his own song Whatcha Say. I mean talk about shameless product placement. And I don’t like how it seems that every song by Jason Derulo looks like its gonna start with “Jason Deruloooooo…Beluga Heights…J-J-J-J.R.”. As for the song itself, well it’s a catchy R&B tune over a rock backing track. Nothing special. Now that Chris Brown’s career is on a downer, have we got ourselves a more clean cut replacement. 3 STARS

14. Jay Sean featuring Sean Paul and Lil’ John: Do You Remember (Video)
Jay Sean returns with another unoriginal R&B track designed especially for the American market. Not as bad as Down but this would be nothing without Sean Paul and Lil John and its clear aping of Chris Brown’s Forever. 3 STARS

15. JLS: One Shot (Video)
Oh someone make these cheesy boybanders disappear. JLS release a gooey, cringeworthy ballad. As if that matters, the only reason they’re so popular is because they flash their abs in every video. 2 STARS

16. Leona Lewis: I Got You (Video)
Poor old Leona. Things haven’t been looking so great seeing as she’s constantly criticised for her poor performance skills, getting punched in the face and suffering the sophomore slump with her new album Echo. I really like this song, it’s romantic, it has a catchy, melodic chorus and Leona’s voice is beautiful as usual. Hopefully, things will pick up for her with this song. 4 STARS

STINKER OF THE WEEK!
17. Lil’ Wayne featuring Ludacris: Eat You Alive (Video)
I’ve never really understood Lil Wayne’s popularity. I think there’s something really vile about him. Don’t like this song at all. Sounds like Lady GaGa’s Monster…from the Monster himself. 1 STAR

18. Lupe Fiasco: Lean (Video)
Why is Lupe so underrated? I think he’s up there with other rap greats like Jay-Z and Eminem. Lean is one of two promo singles he’s releasing. 3.5 STARS

19. Lupe Fiasco: Proceed (Video)
Second promo single by Lupe.Another fantastic rap track with brilliant lyrics. Again I ask: why isn’t Lupe more popular??? 3.5 STARS

20. Muse: Resistance (Video)
Muse are just amazing. This track is just amazing! Before I get into incoherent babbling, everything Muse does is amazing! This is the another brilliant single from Muse’s The Resistance album! 4 STARS

21. Nick Jonas & The Administration: Who I Am (Video)
Oh man! And I thought the Jonas Brothers were bad! When I heard that the baby of the family, Nick was working on a new musical side project, I actually held hope that something good would be produced. Hopes squashed. This is just horrible. Lyrically cliched, Nick sounds like he’s in pain everytime he sings. 1.5 STARS

22. Pitbull featuring Akon: Shut It Down (Video)
Oh great, my two favourite artists Pitbull and Akon team up for what’s sure to be yet another song of musical genius. *SARCASM AND A LOT OF IT* Doesn’t matter what I say about these sexist singers, this will be an automatic hit as it features Akon’s trademark whine, Pitbull’s incoherent babbling and a very ‘now’ production with Transformers style effects. 1.5 STARS

23. Rihanna: Rude Boy (Video)
Not the best song from Rihanna’s rather brilliant Rated R but certainly the most commerical. After a lot of brooding and threatening, Rihanna finally has some fun with this slight dancehall tune about the act of lust, repetitive chorus and all. 3 STARS

24. Seamus Haji vs. Mark Knight and Funkagenda: Good Times (Video)
A remixed update on the 1979 Chic classic. Nothing special, something to dance too after a few drinks too many. 2 STARS

25. Snoop Dogg featuring Hustle Boyz: Check Yo Self (Snoop Dogg G-Mix) (Video)
Amongst the current stream of urban junk infiltrating the charts at the minute, its really refreshing to hear Snoop Doggy Dogg’s cover of Ice Cube’s fantastic 1993 West Coast hip hop song Check Yo Self. Good stuff. 4 STARS

26. Sugababes: Wear My Kiss (Video)
Sugababes tick all the right boxes in pop music with latest single Wear My Kiss. But for all its catchiness, this just sounds bland and lacks any soul. The Sugababes are pretty much dead to me now and it’s not cos Keisha left. It’s just in the last two years, the Sugababes have become a shadow of their former selves. 2.5 STARS

27. Timbaland featuring Justin Timberlake: Carry Out (Video)
Anyone worried about Timbaland over-exposure needn’t worry. This is simply been released as a promo single so don’t expect it to be everywhere like the Katy Perry collaboration If We Ever Meet Again. Anyway, this track sees the continued bromance between Timbo and Justin. It’s a mid-tempo tune about meeting and doing inappropriate things to the ladies with heavy use of food metaphors. It’s fine but nothing we haven’t heard from these two before. 3 STARS

28. Young Money featuring Lloyd: Bedrock (Video)
All the biggest hip-hop stars from the Young Money label get together for this unoriginal yet strangely addictive track. Love the production on this song and all the rappers give a solid performance with Llyod’s soulful crooning on the chorus. 3 STARS