Eminem scores double whammy on the US Chart

Eminem might be looking a little glum in the image above but he’s sure to turn that frown upside down when he finds out that he’s bagged the top spot on both the US single and album charts. Eminem has succeeded in taking down the monster that is Katy Perry’s record breaking smash California Gurls with his own monster smash Love The Way You Lie, which features Rihanna. This is now Eminem’s fourth US #1 single and Rihanna’s seventh!!! In Rihanna’s five short years on the scene, she has achieved the most #1s out of any artist in that timespan. That’s pretty impressive.

Rihanna’s fellow Bajan Shontelle has also managed to defy her sceptics with the former one hit wonder reaching a new peak of #13 with her catchy ballad Impossible. Paramore may have already moved onto next single Careful but its predecessor The Only Exception is proving to be something of a sleeper hit by reaching #36 on the singles chart. Paramore’s previous singles Ignorance and Brick By Boring Brick from their #2 album Brand New Eyes failed to make any significant placing on the chart so I guess this is Paramore’s first US hit from the album.

Usher has proven that there’s just no stopping him! DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love, the Pitbull assisted lead single from new album Versus has debuted at a stellar #19. I smell future OMG like success but I’ll actually be happy for it because DJ is a catchy, fun song. The biggest drop in the chart is Kanye West’s Power which goes from #29 to #60. Kanye better get a video made and some promotion done quick to ensure that he doesn’t face a similar fate to Christina Aguilera.

California Gurls hasn’t died just yet. Its still sits at #1 on the Pop Charts while Paramore’s The Only Exception gains a rise in airplay and debuts at #19. The R&B/Hip-Hop Chart is still held on to by Alicia Keys with Un-thinkable (I’m Ready). I think Un-thinkable is the least commercial single Keys has released to date from The Element Of Freedom but it has ironically sold the best. Looks like my dream of working for a record label has been cut short. I brought you Wynter Gordon’s Dirty Talk video a few days ago. That was  the master of the Dance Chart last week but has now being kicked off by British duo Goldfrapp’s Alive. Great to see that the single has charted somewhere after it flopped in the UK.

Enrique Iglesias continues his reign at the top of the Latin Charts with Cuando Me Enamoro, Shinedown are #1 on the Rock Chart with The Crow And The Butterly while Luke Brian is atop the Country Charts with Doin’ My Thing.

Eminem might be spending his fourth week at #1 with Recovery on the album charts but there are quite a few Top 10 debuts this week. Metal band Korn have debuted at #2 with their ninth LP Korn III: Remember Who You Are, Christian rock band; the terribly named Newsboys debut at #4 with album Born Again, Sting’s new record Symphonicities slides in at #6 followed by unknown-to-me artists Jerrod Nieman and HellYeah at #7 and #8. The US are kinder to M.I.A. than the UK were. Her new record /\/\ /\ Y /\ has debuted at #9 while it flipped feebly into the UK album charts at #21.

Thanks to Rap Radar for the image.

And watch this cool Top 50 video from the wonderful Billboard Goddess on YouTube. I really appreciate her hard work.

Singles Reviews Diary 16 – 21st May 2010

The sixteenth edition of the Singles Reviews Diary is here. Again it’s a bit late but what the Hell, it took a long time to write and I’ve been busy.

Singles Reviews Diary 16 – 21st May 2010:

01. Alicia Keys: Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart (Video)
This is possibly my favourite track from Alicia Keys The Element Of Freedom album. Most of Britain seems to agree with me as the track has already hit the #13 spot before an official release. Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart mightn’t have the killer choruses of Alicia’s biggest hits such as Fallin’, No-One and Empire State Of Mind (I and II) but what we get is a much more subtle approach that’s no less engaging. Containing pounding ‘80s drum machines, underlying synths and soft breathy vocals from Keys’, the track is a seductive and passionate performance from Alicia that deserves to go down as one of the top hits from her catalogue. 4 STARS

02. Ash: Binary (Video)
Well, well, well. After some understated and fairly inoffensive singles from their A-Z Series, Ash decide to go all out with this single. Featuring a futuristic video, Ash provides us with a huge up-tempo electro-rock number with giant pop chorus to boot and “oh-oh-oh” hooks. I think the band have regained my interest again. 4 STARS

03. Detroit Social Club: Prophecy (Video)
I can see why this band is favoured by NME so much… this is rather epic! Featuring fuzzy guitars and drum claps, the song is a definite must have on this Summer’s rock playlist, allow this to grow on you and before you know it you will be bobbing your head and jumping around your room to the massive and powerful chorus. 5 STARS

04. Dizzee Rascal featuring Daniel Pearce: Dirtee Disco (Video)
I really have a fractured relationship with Dizzee Rascal. I hated Dance Wiv Me in Summer 2008, I hated Bonkers in Summer 2009 and it’s now Summer 2010 and I hate Dirtee Disco. But the most likely thing is, I will be joining the masses, like I did in Summers 2008 and 2009, and loving this song before the season is out. You see Dizzee’s music of late seems to have this creeping infectiousness, it sounds terrible at first but radio seems to latch on and before you know it, Dizzee has another hit on his hands. Dirtee Disco contains the rapper’s brash rhymes over a ‘70s funky house beat and vocals from reality TV reject Daniel Pearce. It shouldn’t work, it doesn’t work but it will work in a few weeks time when the dancefloor will be full and moving to Dizzee’s dulcet tones. 3 STARS

05. DJ Team: Stereo Love (Video)
Edward Maya’s naff, accordion sampling Eurotrash number gets the remix treatment by the DJ Team. I can’t believe this crap got into the Irish Top 10 even if the DJ Team version is slightly better than the original, piling on a few extra beats. 2 STARS

06. Edward Maya featuring Vika Jigulina: Stereo Love (Video)
I think I said everything about this song already above. This is naff, Eurotrash trance which fits in perfectly with all the Eurovision guff sure to infiltrate the charts in the next two weeks or so. Maybe this would be passable fodder at a Spanish holiday camp but I certainly know I don’t want this accordion heavy trance track to be played anywhere in the vicinity near me! 1.5 STARS

07. Glee Cast: Dream On (Video)
Glee was back on form this week, mainly because they waited until about 20 minutes into the episode to start singing. In other words, they didn’t sacrifice the plot for the sake of cramming as many songs as possible into an episode. What they also got right is the choice of songs – no bad songs in Glee this week. Yay! This song, a cover of the Aerosmith 1973 classic, sounds rather good. It’s not a patch on the original but Matthew Morrisson and Neil Patrick Harris are vocally good here, well Morrisson is vocally good, Harris is vocally outstanding. I have a real hate for the too-perfect character of Will Schuester so I’m delighted to hear that Neil Patrick Harris absolutely kills him in the rawk vocal department. I say we get rid of Schue and replace him with Bryan Ryan. Who’s with me? 4 STARS

08. Glee Cast: The Safety Dance (Video)
Artie’s learned how to walk!!! And also dance. The Safety Dance, originally by New Wave band Men Without Hats isn’t exactly the vocally outstanding number of the episode but it’s probably the most fascinating visual number. Artie never fails song-wise and re-creates the original funky, electronic sound while throwing out some choreography that would make a Jackson proud. Like I said, this isn’t the song of the episode but it’s actually a pretty good listen once you get used to watching the video over and over again. 4 STARS

09. Glee Cast: I Dreamed A Dream (Video)
SPOILER! Rachel and her mother Shelby (Idina Menzel, who eerily looks like Lea Michelle) cover this song from Les Miserables. Both give an impassioned and vocally strong performance but I have to admit I’m really sick of that song now after it became synonymous with Susan Boyle, Britain’s Got Talent and any reality TV show that’s connected to Simon Cowell. Still a good performance earns… 3.5 STARS

10. Glee Cast: Dream A Little Dream Of Me (Video)
This is another heartwarming closer to a Glee episode. Again it sticks pretty close to the original 1931 dreamy, head swaying number made all the more vulnerable by the wheelchair bound Artie who is on lead vocals. It’s all made more irresistible by the show choir vocals in the background. 4.5 STARS

11. HURTS: Better Than Love (Video)
More ‘80s nostalgia from the Manchester duo. I’ve heard better tracks from the Manchester duo but this is an acceptable enough listen. It’s one of those tracks that starts off rather monotonous but builds up with sparse guitar licks, an explosion of synths and rising backing vocals. I’d give this a much higher rating if I wasn’t sick of listening to ‘80s throwbacks by now. However, I will keep this duo on my One To Watch list. 3 STARS

12. Jamie Cullum: Wheels (Video)
This piano and string heavy number is yet another fantastic entry in Jamie Cullum’s song catalogue. Lyrically, it’s brilliant as always and the chorus with it “woah-oooah-ooah” hook may ensure this gets played on the radio…though I doubt it. Oh well, you can change that if you buy this new single. 4 STARS

13. Josh Dubovie: That Sounds Good To Me (Video)
The only word for this is naff, naff, naff. Maybe back in those dark days when Steps, Scooch and S-Club were ruling the charts, this might have been a hit and an acceptable entry into the Eurovision but I can’t see this doing well. Lyrically atrocious with cheesy backing vocals, it makes the UK look like a country devoid of any talent where’s there’s plenty. And the same goes for Ireland (although our entry isn’t as embarrassing, no offence to my British cyber friends). I cannot understand that the industry big wigs cannot get it into their thick skulls that you send a death-metal band that like to play dress-up (see: Lordi), faux lesbians (see: tAtU) or some sexy lady that can grind on a pole and you have it – WIN! WIN! WIN! Didn’t Lady GaGa teach these people? – the public love gimmicks! 1 STAR

14. K’naan featuring will.i.am. and David Guetta: Wavin’ Flag (Video)
This K’nann penned track was originally given to the Young Artists For Haiti as a charity single a few months ago and even won the prestigious Track Of The Week. However, something is lost in translation when sang by its original songwriter and *shudder* will.i.am with production credits from *shudder* David Guetta. I like K’nann’s international sounding voice and hope to see more of him in the future. The reason I’m not crazy about this version of the track might be because the lyrics have been changed around so that the wordplay sounds clumsy and overall ruins the song’s catchiness, moving it into really schmaltzy territory. The good thing is that David Guetta doesn’t turn the song into a remix, only adding a few extra beats to the track and will.i.am. lays of the Auto-Tune and becomes the much more likeable retro Will. (Okay, so his “rock the beat” voice comes out towards the end of the song but it’s not overbearing like much of the post E.N.D. material. To sum up, the song still remains enjoyable enough but it’s nothing compared to the Haiti version. 3 STARS

STINKER OF THE WEEK!
15. Margi Clarke: Like A Memory (Video)
When I sit down to type up my Singles Reviews Diary, I first have to choose among the 50+ singles released each week, which ones I’m going to review. I generally choose to review songs by well known artists, songs by hyped artists, songs likely to make the Top 40, songs by artists I’ve already reviewed in previous diaries and songs by artists with a certain ring to their name. Margi Clarke was one of those names that had a ring to them and so I went of typed her name into YouTube. Expecting to find an adult contemporary track á la Susan Boyle, I clicked play on the video and my ears were greeted by trippy noises and an even trippier video. I squinted at the screen… wait a minute! IS THAT TYRONE’S PINK HAIRED MUM FROM CORONATION STREET???! I was gobsmaked. What next – Peggy Mitchell leaving Eastenders to pursue a pop career??? Margi Clarke cannot sing at all and the electro track is complete trash. Poker Face 2.0it ain’t, honey. She actually does sound like Madonna in certain places, albeit less talented and more classy. Anyways I believe I’m scarred for life now. *goes to corner and cowers, rocking over and back* 1 STAR

16. Muse: Exogenesis: Symphony (Video)
Aww! Isn’t Muse good to their fans? This track, split in three parts at the end of their latest album The Resistance has been melded together into an epic 12 minute number and packaged as a single for their fans. The single really showcases Muse’s instrumental talents, the orchestra number is huge, atmospheric, overblown, epic and so completely Muse. However, this Muse fan believes that the track is better split in three parts and kept on the album because this constitutes as fun background music and nothing more. Oh well, each to their own I guess. 4 STARS

TRACK OF THE WEEK!
17. Muse: Neutron Star Collision (Love Is Forever) (Video)
Acting as the lead single from the wildly anticipated Eclipse film, Stephanie Meyer (author of Twilight) must be hopping up and down now that her favourite band Muse are soundtracking the never ending love of her protagonists Bella and Robert PattinsonEdward. For a big mainstream release like Eclipse, Muse are in mainstream mode here, the song has a big heart wrenching chorus that radio are sure to pick up, romanticised pianos and big crunching guitars. Hey, I think this is another fantastic entry into Muse’s catalogue and if it gets more people into Muse then I’m all for it. Actually, this is my favourite love song ever…so it gets…5 STARS

18. N-Dubz featuring Bodyrox: We Dance On (Video)
Once we get the trademark N-Dubz “na-na-nai” out of the way, this song is actually rather fantastic. Tulisa’s vocals are smooth and passionate and probably the best we’ve heard yet from her, Dappy and Fazer’s rapping is also very good – there’s definitely an American influence here, their rhymes have that very reflective feel to them, the sort of rhyming you’d expect from Jay-Z or Lupe Fiasco. The chorus has a real inspirational feel and the production by Bodyrox is pretty cool too although the best part (the strings) are sampled from Johann Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major. Anyways, if N-Dubz continue to make music like this Street Dance 3-D soundtrack single for their US debut, then consider me a fan. 4 STARS

19. Nas and Damian Marley: As We Enter (Video)
One of my favourite underrated rappers Nas (probably better known as Kelis’ ex-husband) and Bob Marley’s son Damian come together to provide this head bobber. Nas is a great rapper and Marley’s lyrics are rather clever here, this is a real head-banger, great for playing while cruisin’. 😛 The fast paced back and forth rapping between Nas and Marley really push this song above mediocrity. 3.5 STARS

20. Neil Morrissey and England’s Pride: England’s On The Way (The Lion Sleeps Tonight) (Video)
This song was purely designed for English people to sing along to when getting excited about the World Cup. The recognisable twisting of the lyric The Lion Sleeps Tonight toEngland’s On The Way should make it easier for them to chant along to. To be honest, I thought this would be terrible but I’m a sucker for The Lion Sleeps Tonight and love the original chant and Africanised beats – which make it perfect for the World Cup really. It would be great if Neil Morrissey sang I in a less cheesy way but what the hell! “A wimoweh, a wimoweh, a wimoweh!” 3.5 STARS

21. Niamh Kavanagh: It’s For You (Video)
Niamh Kavanagh already won the Eurovision once – can she do it again? That’s the question on every Irish person’s lips as we get ready to send her off to ChartBlog legend Alexander Rybak’s homeland of Norway. It’s For You, like Jade Ewen’s It’s My Time, is a big power ballad sang by a soulful able voiced singer full of generic lyrics in the vein of any Celine Dion song ever. I imagine this could do pretty well, bland and dated material generally does well at Eurovision, but it certainly won’t win it. I think we should have sent the sexy and gimmicky Monica Ivkic instead. 2 STARS

22. Seán Óg: I Still Love You Without Your Car (Video)
You can probably tell by the title alone that this is a parody song. The production is cheap, the vocals are non-existent, this will probably have to get Stinker…and OH MY GOD THE VIDEO HAS DOGS PLAYING BANJOS, FIDDLES AND GUITAR HERO! THIS THE BEST SONG EVER! 5 STARS! Seriously though this video kicks GaGa’s Telephone video in the mud, Seán Óg needs to become famous and the song is actually a grower. 2.5 STARS but the video gets INFINITY STARS

23. Rihanna: Te Amo (Video)
With her crotch grabbing in Wait Your Turn, her suicidal nature in Russian Roulette, her army promoting Hard and her explicitly sexual lyrics in Rude Boy, Rihanna has come a long way from the early days when she was just a cute 17-year old in a tank top singing about love in much more veiled terms. So it’s a relief to see Rihanna return to some cleaner, more island influenced material of her earlier career. Okay, so the song talks about her breaking some lesbian’s heart but it’s great to hear RihRih avoid singing about guns, bad language and parts of the male anatomy. Te Amo is a beautifully written mid-tempo pop song with lovely tribalesque island synths and percussion and Rihanna expresses emotion in her Marmite voice – listening to this song will transport you to a Caribbean island (figuratively of course). Probably my favourite track from her Rated R album, this strong Summery track is a worthy rival of Lady GaGa’s forthcoming Spanish tinged Alejandro. 4 STARS

24. White Rabbits: They Done Wrong/We Done Wrong (Video)
A brooding rock tune from the White Rabbits. I really like this group and I love the chugging guitars and bass in this but the track is lacking in something, I don’t know really. Perhaps it will grow on me but it’s a bit lacklustre really. Good instrumentally though. 3 STARS

I see the chart game never really took of last week so I guess it won’t go ahead this week either. But feel free to leave your single ratings below if you wish… and comments and feedback of course. 😛

Singles Reviews Diary 5 – 5th March 2010

It’s getting even earlier and earlier…but I have my reviews for singles being released on Monday this week. Cos I’ll most likely be busy. It’s a whopping 37 singles I’ll be covering this week (all though not all of them will be major releases).

Singles Reviews Diary 5 – 5th March 2010

01. A Fine Frenzy: Happier
Better known to her Mom and Dad as Alison Sudol, this gorgeous singer is something like a combination of Colbie Caillat and some anti-folk artist from the Juno soundtrack. As for Happier, it’s a breezy Summery track with some light breathy vocals. Really like this actually. 4 STARS

02. Agnes: On And On
Poor Agnes. Looks like she’s gonna be a #1 hit wonder after failing to replicate the success of her surprise smash Summer hit Release Me. This basically sounds like an inferior version of that song. Theres nothing to distinguish this from any songs we’re likely to hear in the Eurovision, only a month and a half away. Yup, ’nuff said. 2 STARS

03. Alicia Keys featuring Drake: Un-thinkable (I’m Ready)
Alicia Keys keeps the momentum going for her The Element Of Freedom LP with this promotional single. It’s actually a really beautiful song but probably wouldn’t work as an official single. Drake’s harmonies work well with Alicia’s soulful vocals. 3 STARS

04. Avril Lavigne: Alice (Underground)
“IIIIIIIIIIIII….Iiiii’lll get byyyyyyyyyyyy…” yells Avril on the lead single of the Almost Alice soundtrack. Well we certainly won’t Avril as you’re making my ears bleed with your banshee howl. I can’t help thinking this would have been way better in the hands of a more stronger singer like Alanis Morrisette or Amy Lee. However, the thundering percussion and the quiet piano melodies make this just about bearable. 2.5 STARS

Sidenote: What’s the deal with the Almost Alice soundtrack? I mean you think a soundtrack based on a Tim Burton film would be that bit more alternative and gothic sounding. But instead we get 3OH!3, All American Rejects, Owl City and Metro Station — talk about disappointing acts.

05. Bombay Bicycle Club: Evening/Morning
It’s okay and that’s all I have to say. It’s more of an instrumental than a song with vocals. The video disturbs me greatly. 2 STARS

06. Enter Shikari: Tribalism
The clue is in the title – this song is… um well…tribal. Enter Shikari are a hardcore punk band so vicious vocals and loud screaming are to be expected. This isn’t quite as noisy as official single Thumper though. 3 STARS

07. Evanescence: Together Again
Ahead of the release of their new album this Autumn, Evanescence do their bit for Haiti by releasing a B-side of their 2006 album The Open Door as a charity single. This is a typical Evanescence track…dramatic strings, tinkling pianos, creepy choirs and Amy Lee’s haunted wail. It’s all a bit too melodramatic for a Haiti single but if you’re a fan of the band, I recommend you go out and buy this. 2 STARS

TRACK OF THE WEEK!
08. Gabriella Cilmi: On A Mission
All my personal (stalkerish) obsessive feelings of love (and lust) for Cilmi aside, this is actually a fantastic tune. It sounds like it came right out of the ’80s and everything from the production to the chorus to the verses and even the cringeworthy rap breakdown in the middle are all amazing. If this is what she’s doing at 18, can you imagine what a fantastic artist she will be in a few years time. 5 STARS

09. Glee Cast: Endless Love
It’s all about the ballads this week on Glee as the episode these songs are taken from is called ‘Ballad’. A big solid cheesy cover of Diana Ross and Lionel Richie from Hot Social Outcast Girl and The Shoe (Uncool Glee Leader). I actually hope the TV footage is used as a music video for this song ’cause the Shoe’s facial expressions are absolutely hilarious. 3 STARS

10. Glee Cast: I’l Stand By You
The Jock takes the lead with this song. I cringed so much in his soppy cover of The Pretenders/Girls Aloud song/cover. 3 STARS

11. Glee Cast: Don’ Stand So Close To Me/Young Girl
The Shoe does a really good job of this mash-up of songs by The Police and Gary Puckett & The Union. However, this is more episode centric and works better if you see it on TV. 4 STARS

12. Glee Cast: Crush
This actually far surpasses the 1998 original by Jennifer Paige basically ’cause Hot Social Outcast Girl has a much better voice. My favourite Glee track this week. 3.5 STARS

13. Glee Cast: (You’re) Having My Baby
This is a cover of a song by Paul Anka and Odia Coates. Again, I cringe everytime I hear the Jock sing and I’m kind of annoyed his Pregnant Baby Mama didn’t join him. Still his voice is good enough. 3 STARS

14. Glee Cast: Lean On Me
And this is the big heartwarming ballad that the whole Glee Club come out and sing for the Jock and his Baby Mama. It might bring a tear to some people’s eye but for a heartless cynic like me, I just stare stony faced at the screen when this is sang. 3.5 STARS

15. Goldfrapp: Rocket
As I’ve said on the Goldfrapp post already, it’s unlikely that they’ll ever surpass their hippyish folky album Seventh Tree with me. However, Rocket, a synthy, icy mid-tempo ’80s throwback is a quiet grower. I love it. 4 STARS

16. Hadouken!: Mic Check
This is actually amazing. The ravey instrumental for this is worth purchasing alone. If this comes on in a club, I will definitely be first on the dancefloor for this beauty. 4.5 STARS

17. Hermione Hennessy: Fall At Your Feet
This song is by the British raised daughter of late Irish singer Christie Hennessy. This is actually a really enjoyable song. Might work best for the adult contemporary crowd but this actually sounds like The Corrs. 3.5 STARs

18. Ja Rule featuring R. Kelly: Incredible
Are we seeing the return of classic R&B? I sure hope so. But maybe just ’cause R. Kelly sings the chorus on this track. This takes me back to the early 2000s when R&B was so good and not trashy and generic like it is now. This is all classic piano loops and smooth harmonizing from Kelly. Ja Rule’s pretty good too. 4 STARS

19. Jimi Hendrix: Bleeding Heart
This is classic rock ‘n’ roll from the legendary guitarist. This is very enjoyable but I’m really against the release of posthumous singles and albums. These were all probably demos Hendrix created and didn’t think was good enough for a studio album and now they appear 40 years later after his death (my God, has it been that long)! Will appear on his upcoming album Valleys Of Neptune. 3.5 STARS

20. John Mayer: Heartbreak Warfare
As much as it pains me to say this, this womanizing racist actually has a lot of talent. Great rock track. Kind of sounds like Coldplay. 3.5 STARS

21. Kat Deluna featuring Akon: Push Push
She sounds like a combination of Shakira and Rihanna. In other words, she has no originality and needs Akon to help her out on this dancehall R&B track. Unlikely to be a hit. If her brilliant Run This Show couldn’t make it, then I doubt this will. 2.5 STARS

22. Kid Cudi: Know Why
Poor Cudi looks like he’s fallen into the same trap as fellow intelligent rappers Wale and Lupe Fiasco in that he’s unlikely to see the success of a hit like Day ‘N’ Nite again. Can’t believe this song will be ignored when crap by Flo Rida and Pitbull will be snapped up by the masses. 4 STARS

23. Lil’ Jon: Get In And Get Out
I like the beat for this but that’s about it! Jeez John, do you actually talk like that in real life. 1.5 STARS

24. Livvi France: Automatik
After the terrible Now I’m That Chick, Livvi returns with a rather good club banger. But aren’t we hearing this from everyone in the charts at the moment especially Lady GaGa. Sounds like Just Dance and Poker Face. 2.5 STARS

25. Ludacris featuring Chris Angel: Mindfreak 3 STARS

26. Ludacris featuring Trey Songz: Sex Room 3.5 STARS

27. Ludacris: Sexting 2.5 STARS

^^^^The above three are all promo singles from his Battle Of The Sexes album. It’s a fun album and the songs are all fine but fairly standard run of the mill rap tracks. I love Sexting. I thought I had made that word up myself but obviously not. 😦

28. Monica: Everything To Me
The incredibly soulful Monica makes a nice yet unextraordinary return to the World of music. This is really good but nothing we haven’t heard before. 2.5 STARS

29. McLean: My Name
Boring. Who is this guy? This sounds like a Taio Cruz B-side. Next! 1.5 STARS

30. Norah Jones: Stuck
I’m pleasantly surprised. I was expecting another sleepy ballad from Miss Jones but she’s really moving outside the box with this more interesting second single from upcoming album The Fall. I might check it out if this single is an indication of the new album. 4 STARS

STINKER OF THE WEEK!
31. Pixie Lott: Gravity
I really like Pixie and think she’s amazingly talented for her 19 years and think she gets an awful lot of unnecessary abuse. But this song is kind of disgraceful as a single. I haven’t listened to her album Turn It Up but I’ve heard there’s much better songs on the album like Here We Go Again and Turn It Up. Okay, so it’s not the worst song ever but Pixie sounds like she has a headcold with that nasal singing against the mid-tempo setting. “Gravity, gravity, gravity…” is repeated too many times on the chorus and I don’t like that a deep male voice sings it too. Its just annoying. 1 STAR

32. Robbie Williams: Morning Sun
It’s good but it’s not great. Robbie plays it safe with this so-so ballad. I’d prefer You Know Me anyday. 2 STARS

33. Sean Garret featuring Plies: Lay U Down
Ah go away, T-Pain impersonators!!!! 1 STAR

34. Shane McGowan & Friends: I Put A Spell On You
This is my favourite Haiti charity record. Really raw and emotive vocals from Shane McGowan, Paloma Faith, Johnny Depp, Bobby Gillespie, Glen Matlock, Chrissie Hynde and Eliza Dolittle. Not sure if a cover of the Screaming Jay Hawkins hit is appropriate in relation to Haiti. But hey! This is a good record people will want to buy instead of feeling obliged to buy. 3 STARS

35. Steve Aoki featuring [[[ Zuper Blahq ]]]: I’m In The House
This sounds suspiciously like Will.I.Am on this novelty dance track which uses the hook “I’m in the house!” for chart success. We all know how crappy Will is solo and over a dance beat, he’s probably worse. This isn’t Will.I.Am. but it sounds identical to him. This is obviously cashing in on the success of Sidney Samson’s Riverside (Let’s Go!)which this track also sounds like. 2 STARS

36. T-Pain featuring Young Jeezy: Reverse Cowgirl
If you’ve heard one T-Pain track, you’ve heard ’em all. Auto-Tuned drivel. 2 STARS

37. Young Jeezy featuring Plies: Lose My Mind
Much like his collaborator above, if you’ve heard one Young Jeezy song, you’ve heard them all from the gruff voiced rapper. What’s he doing releasing his own solo material. Do what yo do best: being a rent-a-rapper. 1 STAR

That took FOREVER!!! Please feel free to compliment/argue with my reviews!

Singles Reviews Diary 3 – 19th February 2010

Hey guess what?! I’ve come up with my thoughts on singles being released tomorrow a day early. Mightn’t get time to post it tomorrow (have a busy day of drinking for Rag Week tomorrow) so I’ll post it now

Singles Reviews Diary 3 – 19th February 2010:

01. Alicia Keys: Empire State Of Mind (Part II) Broken Down (Video)
Last year, Alicia Keys featured on Jay-Z’s biggest anthem of last year. For new albumThe Element Of Freedom, Alicia strips the song down into a beautiful piano ballad while still keeping the killer chorus of the original. While this is more atmospheric, I still think I prefer the Jay-Z original. 4 STARS

02. Alphabeat: Hole In My Heart (Video)
Alphabeat drop the sugary bubblegum sound that they used on Fascination and recent single The Spell for a more ’90s dance sound on the second single from album The Spell. I was a never a fan of their cheesy pop songs so I find this song…uh…bearable. 3 STARS

03. Beyoncé: Fever (Video)
So much for Beyoncé taking a break. Alongside collaborations with Lady GaGa and Alicia Keys, Beyoncé finds time to release single Fever to promote her new perfume Heat. She makes a solid yet hardly groundbreaking cover of the 1956 smoky classic. I kind of want Beyoncé to disappear for a while at this stage especially as she’s planning on releasing a new album at the end of the day. 2 STARS

04. Chiddy Bang: The Opposite Of Adults (Video)
A delightful rap track that samples MGMT’s Kids. I think I agree with Curtains. This could well be better than the original. I’ll have to keep listening to find out. Definite party starting tune for sure!!! 4.5 STARS

05. Cobra Starship: Hot Mess (Video)
Pretty much like Metro Station’s Shake It, the only thing that’s good about this song is the killer chorus. The rest of the song is forgettable and annoying. 2.5 STARS

06. Daisy Dares You featuring Chipmunk: Number One Enemy (Video)
Britain’s newest teenybopper popstar releases her first single. The video is like a low budget version of Gwen Stefani’s What You Waiting For? and there’s a whiff of Avril Lavigne about it. The song is catchy enough pop rock but what’s with the random Chipmunk verse. Completely pointless. 3 STARS

07. Ellie Goulding: Starry Eyed (Video)
A hook filled, hypnotic electropop track. I think Ellie is a deserved winner of the BRITS Critics Choice Award. I think she’s gonna be 2010’s big new star. 3.5 STARS

08. Giggs featuring B.o.B.: Don’t Go There (Video)
Expletive filled rap track by British/Jamacian rapper Giggs. This probably won’t get much airplay but it’s actually a really enjoyable rap track with a catchy enough chorus provided by American rapper B.o.B..

09. Glee Cast: Bust A Move 3 STARS (Video)

10. Glee Cast: Sweet Caroline 3.5 STARS (Video)

11. Glee Cast: Thong Song 3 STARS (Video)

More fun yet cheesy, stage school style covers of songs by Young MC, Neil Diamond and Sisquo. Their Sweet Caroline rendition is good but the teacher who rules the Glee club really needs to stop rapping on the other two tracks. It’s the equivalent of watching your dad trying to act cool.

TRACK OF THE WEEK!
12. Groove Armada featuring SaintSaviour and Fenech-Soler: Paper Romance (Video)
First we had Bad Romance, now we have Paper Romance. Groove Armada release another fantastic electronica track. Check out the dark video for the song too. Definitely made me excited for their new album Black Light out 1 March. 5 STARS

13. Jason Derulo: In My Head (Video)
Okay, there are a million reasons I don’t like the video for this song. First of all, it’s a complete copy of Justin Timberlake’s Like I Love You video. I also don’t like how Jason is sitting in the carpark listening to his own song Whatcha Say. I mean talk about shameless product placement. And I don’t like how it seems that every song by Jason Derulo looks like its gonna start with “Jason Deruloooooo…Beluga Heights…J-J-J-J.R.”. As for the song itself, well it’s a catchy R&B tune over a rock backing track. Nothing special. Now that Chris Brown’s career is on a downer, have we got ourselves a more clean cut replacement. 3 STARS

14. Jay Sean featuring Sean Paul and Lil’ John: Do You Remember (Video)
Jay Sean returns with another unoriginal R&B track designed especially for the American market. Not as bad as Down but this would be nothing without Sean Paul and Lil John and its clear aping of Chris Brown’s Forever. 3 STARS

15. JLS: One Shot (Video)
Oh someone make these cheesy boybanders disappear. JLS release a gooey, cringeworthy ballad. As if that matters, the only reason they’re so popular is because they flash their abs in every video. 2 STARS

16. Leona Lewis: I Got You (Video)
Poor old Leona. Things haven’t been looking so great seeing as she’s constantly criticised for her poor performance skills, getting punched in the face and suffering the sophomore slump with her new album Echo. I really like this song, it’s romantic, it has a catchy, melodic chorus and Leona’s voice is beautiful as usual. Hopefully, things will pick up for her with this song. 4 STARS

STINKER OF THE WEEK!
17. Lil’ Wayne featuring Ludacris: Eat You Alive (Video)
I’ve never really understood Lil Wayne’s popularity. I think there’s something really vile about him. Don’t like this song at all. Sounds like Lady GaGa’s Monster…from the Monster himself. 1 STAR

18. Lupe Fiasco: Lean (Video)
Why is Lupe so underrated? I think he’s up there with other rap greats like Jay-Z and Eminem. Lean is one of two promo singles he’s releasing. 3.5 STARS

19. Lupe Fiasco: Proceed (Video)
Second promo single by Lupe.Another fantastic rap track with brilliant lyrics. Again I ask: why isn’t Lupe more popular??? 3.5 STARS

20. Muse: Resistance (Video)
Muse are just amazing. This track is just amazing! Before I get into incoherent babbling, everything Muse does is amazing! This is the another brilliant single from Muse’s The Resistance album! 4 STARS

21. Nick Jonas & The Administration: Who I Am (Video)
Oh man! And I thought the Jonas Brothers were bad! When I heard that the baby of the family, Nick was working on a new musical side project, I actually held hope that something good would be produced. Hopes squashed. This is just horrible. Lyrically cliched, Nick sounds like he’s in pain everytime he sings. 1.5 STARS

22. Pitbull featuring Akon: Shut It Down (Video)
Oh great, my two favourite artists Pitbull and Akon team up for what’s sure to be yet another song of musical genius. *SARCASM AND A LOT OF IT* Doesn’t matter what I say about these sexist singers, this will be an automatic hit as it features Akon’s trademark whine, Pitbull’s incoherent babbling and a very ‘now’ production with Transformers style effects. 1.5 STARS

23. Rihanna: Rude Boy (Video)
Not the best song from Rihanna’s rather brilliant Rated R but certainly the most commerical. After a lot of brooding and threatening, Rihanna finally has some fun with this slight dancehall tune about the act of lust, repetitive chorus and all. 3 STARS

24. Seamus Haji vs. Mark Knight and Funkagenda: Good Times (Video)
A remixed update on the 1979 Chic classic. Nothing special, something to dance too after a few drinks too many. 2 STARS

25. Snoop Dogg featuring Hustle Boyz: Check Yo Self (Snoop Dogg G-Mix) (Video)
Amongst the current stream of urban junk infiltrating the charts at the minute, its really refreshing to hear Snoop Doggy Dogg’s cover of Ice Cube’s fantastic 1993 West Coast hip hop song Check Yo Self. Good stuff. 4 STARS

26. Sugababes: Wear My Kiss (Video)
Sugababes tick all the right boxes in pop music with latest single Wear My Kiss. But for all its catchiness, this just sounds bland and lacks any soul. The Sugababes are pretty much dead to me now and it’s not cos Keisha left. It’s just in the last two years, the Sugababes have become a shadow of their former selves. 2.5 STARS

27. Timbaland featuring Justin Timberlake: Carry Out (Video)
Anyone worried about Timbaland over-exposure needn’t worry. This is simply been released as a promo single so don’t expect it to be everywhere like the Katy Perry collaboration If We Ever Meet Again. Anyway, this track sees the continued bromance between Timbo and Justin. It’s a mid-tempo tune about meeting and doing inappropriate things to the ladies with heavy use of food metaphors. It’s fine but nothing we haven’t heard from these two before. 3 STARS

28. Young Money featuring Lloyd: Bedrock (Video)
All the biggest hip-hop stars from the Young Money label get together for this unoriginal yet strangely addictive track. Love the production on this song and all the rappers give a solid performance with Llyod’s soulful crooning on the chorus. 3 STARS