Single Reviews Diary 24 – 16th July 2010

You know the drill by now. This week there are 19 singles. I review them. You comment/give feedback etc.

Single Reviews Diary 24 – 16th July 2010:

01. 30 Seconds To Mars: Closer To The Edge

File:30 Seconds to Mars-Closer to the Edge s.jpg
This is SONIC EARGASM!!! Seriously, if your looking for true depth or subtlety in music by 30 Seconds To Mars, look elsewhere because Jared Leto and co. are making unapologetic stadium rock with massive choruses, crowd chanting and epic sprawling productions. After the brilliant previous single This Is War, I went in and bought the album of the same name last week and I love it from start to finish. This is my favourite track – a fantastic stadium rocker! Jared’s wailing rather ironically brings hope to the listener. This has a real inspirational feel to it. 4.5 STARS

02. Adam Lambert: Whataya Want From Me

Adam Lambert - Whataya Want From Me
Another one who knows how to deliver the sonic eargasms, Glambert (or rather his label) took a bit of a misstep by releasing the dreadful For Your Entertainment as his first proper single. Seriously, not only was the song completely tedious but it just screamed “Look! I’m the male version of Lady GaGa!” Thankfully with his second proper single, Adam delivers the pop rock and that amazing voice we all fell in love with onAmerican Idol. In my opinion anything P!nk writes is dead catchy and this single is exactly that! Starting off brooding and vulnerable, the ballad breaks into an irresistible chorus absolutely dripping with angst and melody. You’ll soon be singing “Just don’t give up/I’m working out/Please don’t give up/I won’t let you down” at the top of your voice although good luck trying to emulate Lambo’s screeching at the end. Despite the misstep of his first single, Adam shows that if he keeps pushing out singles as good as this, us males will have a worthy pop superstar to go against the Lady GaGas, Beyoncés and Rihannas of this World. 4.5 STARS

03. Ash: Summer Snow

Ash - U
First off, I love the title off this track. Only five more
A-Z singles after this one, this track is a simple enough pop rock track with crunchy guitars, bass and impassioned vocals from frontman Tim. There’s also a slight folk influence. The chorus is good enough but nothing groundbreaking or dead catchy. Like the majority of singles from this era, a decent but ultimately passable track. Buy it if you’re an Ash fan. 3 STARS

04. Basshunter: Saturday

Basshunter - Saturday
Basshunter has probably figured out that his breakthrough
Now You’re Gone sound has probably started to grate on the public’s nerve so the horny DJ has gone ahead and made music just like everyone else. This is probably Basshunter’s best single but that’s not really saying much considering his past offerings. Comprised of a club beat, catchy uncredited female vocalist(s) and plenty of Auto-Tune with the lyrical theme of partying, Basshunter joins JLS, Usher, Enrique and Taio in the ranks for tired, corporate dance music that is going to be swallowed up by the masses. 2.5 STARS

05. Diana Vickers: The Boy Who Murdered Love

This girl is obsessed with the macabre…perhaps she should see a therapist? Or front an emo band? But Diana’s musical output is at odds with her dark lyrics because this is such a cheery, upbeat song. Diana’s whispery vocals are still intact but used in a more commercial way than her risky debut
Once. The chorus is ten times catchier than the aforementioned single, which simply comprised of the word “Once” being repeated over and over again. The song is cute, catchy and 100% pop without sounding manufactured. Plus I’m starting to develop a huge crush on Diana Vickers…almost obsessive! 4 STARS

06. Faithless: Tweak Your Nipple

Faithless seem to have a new single out each week. It’s rather crazy! This new track is lyrically philosophical and intelligent with mind provoking lyrics such as “I see genius in everybody to perceive it in yourself is the difficulty” and “Your individuality overflows with quality, it manifests solidly if you believe”. But do we really want to think while we’re on the dancefloor. I don’t think so. The beat only picks up as we come to the end of the track and the spoken word run of the song is grating. For die hard only Faithless fans.

07. Giggs featuring Shola Ama: Blow ‘Em Away

Another artist just firing out the singles, I think Giggs is fast morphing into the British 50 Cent. The deep and ominous voiced rapper shows plenty of ‘swagga’ (I feel so weird saying that) on this beat heavy track while Shola Ama does her best Keri Hilson impression on the mildly catchy chorus. If you’ve missed 50 Cent during his time relevant, then you should enjoy this.

08. Goldhawks: Keep This Fire

I’d recommend keeping an eye on this band. They definitely show much promise and remind me at times of Arcade Fire or Kings Of Leon. This anthemic indie rock song has Summer appeal and also would make a decent climactic soundtrack song. It has to lose points for a lack of originality though.

09. Inna: Amazing

After the surprise Top 10 placing of her previous single
Hot, I was hoping Romanian pop tart Inna would disappear as quickly as she came. Not a chance, she’s releasing her second single Amazing and I have a feeling it’s going to be another hit. Amazing it most definitely isn’t but with its Ibiza style production, it certainly miles better than the steaming hot mess that was Hot. This conjures up thoughts of Mediterranean holiday camps, something you’ll gladly dance drunkedly to on a Saturday night. Plus Inna looks good in a bikini. 2.5 STARS

10. Jedward: All The Small Things

Jedward - All The Small Things
Basically, to rant about this would be pointless. You’ll either love or hate Jedward or actually find yourself warming to them but I still find them one of the most pointless, idiotic, talentless and manufactured acts to ever grace the music industry. I do not find them funny, I do not find them cute and I do not find them entertaining. Everything from their ridiculous hair to their faux American accents to their blatant lack of originality, brains, vocal and dance ability just annoys me!!! With their cover of Blink-182’s
All The Small Things, the gruesome twosome shout over the original instrumentation with some cheap synths added for contemporary effect. You don’t need a good voice to cover this song but you need some singing ability which Jedward clearly lack. If you think the original sounds bad, you should hear their breathless live rendition. I know I’m not the kiddie target market for this duo but if this is what kids grow up listening too then I seriously fear for the future of mankind. No joke. Ooops, looks like I ranted. 1 STAR

11. Kill Krinkle Club: Airport

Kill Krinkle Club - Airport
The Irish/Swedish duo and real life couple Kill Krinkle Club are back with the first single from their forthcoming album
Abandon. Much like its official music video, this track is a dreamy slice of experimental electronica. Not exactly a bad tune but I’ve heard this kind of music a hundred times before. The icy beats are nice though. 3 STARS

12. Pendulum: Witchcraft

Pendulum - Witchcraft
The Aussie industrial rockers are back with the second single from album
Immersion. Don’t let the subdued opening fool you, this is yet another fast paced break neck speed track with some powerful meaty vocals. I’m sure this would sound absolutely immense live. However, it does sound a bit samey doesn’t it. Like they’ve done it all before. Oh well, I’ll let them off this time. 3.5 STARS

13. Placebo: I Feel You

Placebo - I Feel You
The British more heavier R.E.M. soundalikes Placebo have released their Depeche Mode cover of
I Feel You, a track which appears on a bonus disc of their 2003 album Sleeping With Ghosts. It’s a bit strange that the band would go back and release a song from two albums before (even if it is only a special edition) but then when have Placebo been conventional. Instrumentally this is very good. Lead singer Brian Molko’s slithery voice though is another thing altogether. Some find it sexy and addictive; others find it nasal and whiny! I think his voice is better suited to some songs than they are to others. While Molko really makes this his own which is something to be commended, the original trumps this skin crawling version by far. 2.5 STARS

14. Sandi Thom: Gold Dust

Sandi Thom - Gold Dust
The Punk Rocker With Flowers In Her Hair has actually released her third solo album back in May but you’d never know because the Scottish singer was forced out of the limelight as quickly as she came into it back in 2005 when her irritatingly catchy debut was all over the airwaves. With the second single from album
Merchants And Thiefs, Thom takes on an American blues feel with her music. In this sultry ballad with some great guitars, the singer actually sounds like a female Dylan albeit a little clichéd. It’s just a shame very few people will hear this. 4 STARS

15. Sarah McLachlan: Loving You Is Easy

Sarah McLachlan - Loving You Is Easy
The Canadian singer, known best for her large catalogue of miserable piano ballads, decides to up the tempo a little bit for her comeback single, taken from her new album
Laws Of Illusion. It’s a nice little pop ditty that should please her fans and keep the AC crowd happy but with its bouncy piano melody and uplifting chorus, it just sounds like a carbon copy of Sarah Bareilles’ Love Song. At least McLachlan looks HOT aged 42. 2.5 STARS

16. Sheryl Crow: Summer Day

All the female folk singers are coming out in their droves this week. To promote her new album
100 Miles From Memphis, Sheryl Crow has ditched the catchy folk she’s more closely associated for relaxed Summer blues music. This song is just sublime. Don’t expect anything as radio friendly as Soak Up The Sun or Everyday Is A Winding Road, with this track, Crow captures that feeling of intense love on a breezy Summer day thanks to an impassioned yet restrained vocal performance and some light guitar backing. A+ for making an effort and succeeding. 5 STARS

17. Usher featuring Pitbull: DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love

Usher featuring Pitbull - DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love
The lead single from Usher’s March album
Raymond V. Raymond, OMG was a surprise smash hit. Many deemed his career over in the lead up to the release but the atrocity managed to surprise everyone and spend weeks atop the charts across the World for the weeks and even now is still lying about the Top 10. Realising that selling his soul works, Usher has struck while the iron is hot and tacked together a new album EP with another corporate dance track that will get the masses moving but lacks in any real passion or drive. Lyrically this is juvenile and cheesy and would be much better suited to his protégé Justin Bieber. Pitbull spews out more of his tiresome bilingual verses which cashing his $1 million dollar cheque for nothing. It’s the god of pop songwriting Max Martin who is the real star of this song who makes what would be an otherwise tired and boring song decent with some giant pop hooks and a euphoric production. I demand a feature credit. 3 STARS

18. Usher featuring Nicki Minaj: Lil’ Freak

File:Lil Freak Official single cover.png
Ush still hasn’t stopped promoting
Raymond V. Raymond though. This track acts as a promo single here and it’s a shame it wasn’t put in the place of OMG as lead single from the project. It’s not half as annoying and just as catchy. Much like its accompanying promo clip, it sounds and looks like Nelly Furtado’s Maneater but I guess the wimpy record label feared it would be too urban for the mainstream crowd. Now much like Usher’s recent output, this track is far from perfect. Lyrically it’s as misogynist as many R&B/hip-hop songs these days and Nicki Minaj, normally a scene stealer, has one of the most unbearable rap verses of the year. Seriously, what’s with the Santa’s reindeer rap runthrough in that over-the-top accent for? Still, this track is a more than decent club banger with a minimum backbeat and massive symphonic synths that start up in the chorus, which strangely reminds me of the 1990s movie Men In Black. Something fun and gritty to grind to on the Saturday night dancefloor – or in the house when no-one is looking. 3.5 STARS

19. Vanessa Amorosi: I Am Who I Am

Vanessa Amorosi - This Is Who I Am
Australia answer to a more universally liked Katy Perry releases her debut single over here. It’s pretty sad that this track is unlikely to chart because this is an explosive power pop stomper that sounds like Katy Perry’s
Hot ‘N’ Cold meets Kelly Clarkson’s Since U Been Gone. Seriously it’s that good! Featuring a stuttering electronic guitar hook, an instantly infectious chorus and a whole lot of grrrl power with witty lyrics, maybe it’s time to start a campaign to get radio to playlist this too. Give it a listen…go on! You’re missing out! 5 STARS

I’ll try and get Diary 25 done before Monday. Not promising though! 😉

Why patriotism is sometimes not a good thing! Jedward top the Irish album charts.


Well the inevitable has happened!

Irish trolls Jedward have knocked Eminem and Recovery off the top of the Irish Album Chart with their shit cover album Planet J to the E to the D to the Ward, better known as Planet Jedward. I knew this would happen! Irish people are far too patriotic for their own good.

It’s not all bad though, Jedward’s unbearable Blink-182 cover All The Small Things was released last week and has debuted at a fairly floppish #21. Here’s hoping it will fall further down rather than rise up – same goes for their parent album too. Eminem needn’t be too pissed at the talentless twosome though, his Rihanna collaboration Love The Way You Lie has knocked Katy Perry’s California Gurls off the top spot, a feat he mirrored on the US Chart yesterday. Reminem, as the rapper and Bajan pop princess will be from here on out known, have bagged the top spot in the US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Ireland. All before a music video is even filmed. We’re definitely going to be hearing this song all Summer.

The Irish Top 50 Singles are pretty much the same as they are every week. JLS have delightedly slipped from #4 to #7, which hopefully shows that The Club Is Alive is losing steam fast. New entries to the chart are scare with Basshunter’s generic club banger Saturday at #37 and Jason Derulo and his alright ballad What If at #41. The brilliant Adam Lambert ballad Whataya Want From Me has failed to chart in its first week of release and instead we get Daniel O’ Fucking Donnell at #50 with his lovely wee single Tipperary Girl.

I’ve already spread the bad news about the album chart. Eminem has now to settle for #2 while the rest of the Top 10 is made up of chart staples Mumford & Sons, Florence + The Machine, Paolo Nutini, Lady GaGa and Justin Bieber. Gosh, these guys must have sold a gazillion records in Ireland. Give someone else a chance! Thankfully Kylie Minogue spends her third week in the Top 10 at #9, Plan B has moved from #11 to #7 no doubt thanks to his excellent new single Prayin’ and Eliza Doolittle’s self titled debut spends its second week at #10.

The highest new entry to the album chart is Professor Green with his Alive Till I’m Dead at #18, Sting disappointedly just makes the Top 40 with his new LP Synchronocities and Sheryl Crow flops in at #54 with her new album 100 Miles From Memphis. However, those low charting positions can be put down to zero promotion. 3OH!3 have had plenty of that with Top 10 single My First Kiss but its parent album Streets Of Gold has tanked at #79. Good, people finally realise that while 3OH!3 have the odd catchy single, their albums are the most brain numbing records of all time. Poor old M.I.A. is getting a better reception in the US which is surprising considering her controversial nature. How things have changed? On this side of the Atlantic, M.I.A. takes the biggest nose dive on the chart with her self titled third album dropping from #47 to #81 in its second week. Ouch!

For full chart info (without my increasingly humourous commentary), visit the IRMA website.

Jedward bring out my homicidal tendencies in the ‘All The Small Things’ video

This is old news to some but the dastardly duo Jedward have released the music video for All The Small Things, a cover of the 2000 Blink-182 hit and the second single from their forthcoming album Planet Jedward, due out on 26th July. Watch the video below.

WARNING: If you are like me and despise Jedward then I would advise caution.

In the low budget clip, John and Edward Grimes pay homage to Beyoncé’s Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It), Lady GaGa’s Telephone, Boy George and Britney Spears’ …Baby One More Time. Now maybe I have no sense of “fun” – a statement often made by Jedward lovers but these guys are just embarassing. I cringed all through the video and at the start of the track I wanted to grab the twins by their shortened quiffs and slam the in an automatic door. I would then kick Edward in the knee again for good measure. See! See what they’ve done to me! I’ve become a homicidal maniac when normally I’m as mild mannered as Peter Parker on a visit to Aunt May’s.

Now I know the original All The Small Things is just a party frat-house rock tune but why do Jedward have to shit on it with their karaoke rendition? Cheap sounding synths to “update” the sound only add to the staleness of this too. Plus they have the cheek to not pay homage to Blink-182 instead opting for the attention seeking route of paying homage to the most iconic songs of the last ten years or so. Shaking my head. Plus the rap breakdown – “J to the E to the D to the ward!” *grabs nearest person and stabs them*

What annoys me most is that these talentless fools will be successful with this track, especially in our native Ireland. Irish people are fiercely patriotic to any of our Irish acts, regardless of how bad they are and that’s why Jedward’s last single spent weeks at #1 and in the Top 10.

Oh, just give Jedward their own Disney show and let them never make music again!

Jedward continue to annoy with second single ‘All The Small Things’

Life size troll dolls Jedward may have been rather harshy dropped by Sony Entertainment after their debut single peaked at #2 instead of #1 in the UK but I’m starting to wish that Universal Records hadn’t signed them the very next day. The reason. Jedward are releasing another single, folks! NEXT MONTH! Everyone reach for the earplugs now!

Their next single will be a cover of Blink-182’s All The Small Things. Goddamnit! I wish Louis Walsh or Simon Cowell or whoever’s bloody managing them would put them in the studio and come up with some original material that they can put on a crappy album instead of taking the lazy way out with covers. Westlife, I’m also looking at you!

I happen to really like the original version too – I’m not going to pretend that it’s a classic or that it requires a decent set of vocal pipes to sing it or anything but I really don’t want to hear Jedward’s tone deaf karaoke version of the fun punk pop track.

No studio version of the track has surfaced yet so I’ll give you this low quality live performance by the hyperactive twins. Let’s hope studio trickery will help make the song more bearable when released. I’ve also added the original Blink-182 video which is an unsubtle yet hilarious parody of the boyband videos which were all the rage in the late ’90s, the time of the song’s release. Oh the irony!

Jedward’s debut album will be called Planet Jedward.

Singles Reviews Diary 1 – 5th February 2010

Every week, I post a diary of single reviews across various sites on the Internet. I’ve decided to add it here so we can all have a good discussion about singles being released each week. I’m from Ireland so naturally the singles I review will have been released in Ireland the date the Diary is named after. Comments and feedback are appreciated.

Okay so, forthcoming singles this week and my thoughts:

Singles Reviews Diary 1 – 5th February 2010:

01. Calvin Harris: You Used To Hold Me (Video)
Mr. Harris is just releasing irritating filler from his album now. Give it up and get back in the studio.

You Used To Hold Me (Radio Edit)

02. Cherri V. featuring Wiley: Skool Daze (Video)
I thought this would be an irritating garage
choon! But this is a pleasant enough mid-tempo, it has to be said. 3 STARS

Skool Daze

03. Erik Hassle: Hurtful (Video)
I really like this Swedish dude. He’s a pop singer that writes intelligent songs. Although they may be too angsty and depressing for most mainstream audiences. Not as good as last single,
Don’t Send Flowers After I’m Dead, but a likeable enough power ballad with sparse synths and marching band drum beats. 3.5 STARS


04. Field Music: Them That Do Nothing (Video)
Reminds me of Mumford & Son even though they’re not really alike. Nice tune.

Them That Do Nothing

05. Glee Cast: Somebody To Love (Video)
I think you’d need to have a heart of stone not to be bowled over by every
Glee cover ever. As much as I hate to admit it, they’re all amazing and offer a refreshing alternative to the original. 5 STARS

Somebody To Love (Glee Cast Version)

06. Helping Haiti: Everybody Hurts (Video)
Although I think REM’s 1993 single being totally inappropriate for the Helping Haiti campaign, this is not half as bad as I thought it would be. Well done to all involved vocally, I actually really like Kylie’s part.

Everybody Hurts

07. Jedward featuring Vanilla Ice: Under Pressure (Ice Ice Baby) (Video)
As we’ve discussed already, you’ll either love or hate the hyperactive twins with their mash up of Queen’s
Under Pressure and Vanilla Ice’s Ice Ice Baby novelty tune. As it happens, I hate it. 1.5 STARS

Under Pressure (Ice Ice Baby)

08. John, Shelly & The Creatures: Long May You Reign (Video)
Northern Irish rockers John, Shelly & The Creatures may just hit the big time with this smooth soft rock song that is currently used to advertise tourism in Ireland.

Long May You Reign

09. Johnny Foreigner: Every Cloakroom Ever (Video)
I think they’re Britain’s answer to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs! A short yet sweet tune with quiet vocals amongst noisy guitar intervals.

Every Cloakroom Ever

10. The Maccabees featuring Roots Manuva: Empty Vessels (Video)
I’ve never heard rapper Roots Manuva before but he is one talented rapper. He raps earnestly against the Maccabees talented instrumental skills. 5 STARS

Empty Vessels

11. Miike Snow: Silvia (Video)
Miike Snow are amazing and this song proves it. The indie electro band which contains production team Bloodshy & Avant have another winner on their hands.


12. Rammstein: Ich Tu Der Weh (Video)
Despite this song being 100% German and me not speaking any German whatsoever, I love this song. I discovered this industrial metal band recently and their REALLY good.

Ich Tu Dir Weh

13. Rihanna featuring Young Jeezy: Hard (Video)
Rihanna releases her second promo single this week.
Hard sees the Bajan beuaty show off her more urban new gangsta side with cocky lyrics and a fun repetitive chorus. This might take a while to grow on some people but it should go down well in clubs despite not actually being your typical club banger. 4 STARS

I Heard It Through The Grapevine: Katt Williams, Rihanna V Breezy, Alicia Keys

14. Sade: Soldier Of Love (Video)
Comeback soul queen returns with a beautiful, military percussion track like nothing else in the chart at the moment. This is on constant replay on my iPod.

Soldier Of Love (Single)

15. Taylor Swift: Today Was A Fairytale (Video)
If you’re a fan of Taylor Swift, then you’ll love this. Unfortunately I’m getting a little tired of the 20-year old’s cheesy country lite tunes about princes and princesses. Used to promote the star heavy new rom-com
Valentine’s Day where Swift stars with that other Taylor she used to date.1.5 STARS

16. You Me At Six: Underdog (Video)
British emo rockers You Me At Six return with a solid yet predicatble power popper. Enjoyable with a large chorus but not as good as breakthrough single
Finders Keepers. 3 STARS